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First CAMHS appointment - how do I get them to listen?

bertieh

Hi  - first time posting, so here goes.

After some battling, we finally have an appointment to be seen by our local CAMHS next week.  My nearly 8 yr old son (year 3) was referred asking for as ASD diagnosis initially, but this has been refused and instead we have a 'generic' assessment meeting.  I am not happy with this, but at least we have an appointment.  The letter says it is a CHOICE appointment. Does anyone have any experience of one of these and what to expect?  Do I need to coach my son into saying the right things so that we don't get dismissed?  He may very well not present as having difficulties in one half an hour meeting and he will be scared about the whole thing.

My son was referred to CAMHS as a toddler for very poor sleep and anxiety issues but after just one session, he was discharged.  I know what CAMHS is like and everyone I have spoken to about it has only negative things to say.  I know I will need to fight to not be fobbed off.

I desperately want an ASD assessment for my son - not because I want a label or because I want there to be something wrong, but because I want to help him and give him an equal chance.  He has very calmly talked about killing himself and has punched through a window.  He is academically bright and does not have disuptive behaviour at school, although he does have an IEP for his dyslexia and the school are supportive in pursuing an ASD assessement.  I am not making this up!

I am so worried about fluffing up the appointment and either not saying enough , saying too much, being too aggressive, not being assertive enough.  I know that the only way my son will get any help is through me, and if they just dismiss me as a neurotic mum (as they did last time) I won't be helping him, or my family.  I am so scared about being sent away with yet another photocopied sheet about fing reward charts.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.  Should I go all guns blazing or assume that these people actually remember some of their training and will actually want to help?  Thank you.

Parents

  • I think you've gone a long way with identifying evidence in your postings. As others have suggested, write down instances of behaviour. In your second posting the paragraph about dropping pencils, how he grips them,  forgetting to go to the toilet etc., are worth recording so you can explain these.

    Once you've got a record of evidence written down it will be easier to provide the right explanation when the time comes. You may find there are differences between how he behaves at home and how he behaves at school. School provides a framework for daily routine, but also he may be reluctant to show himself up in front of other children for fear of being made fun of. He may therefore unleash the stress at home. It could be useful to record any such differences between home, school and other environments.

    It would be worth trying to get more facts about what goes on in school. Being different and feeling as if from another planet will make him feel bad about himself, but how his fellow pupils deal with this could be important, such as mocking or bullying. These might be relevant to fears about school, suicidal notions and changes in home behaviour. Write it down.

    There is a useful book, if you can track down a copy, as it was published 14 years ago, but it is still useful insight into school life for parents: "Martian in the Playground - understanding the schoolchild with Asperger's syndrome" by Clare Sainsbury (Lucky Duck Publishing 2000 - ISBN 1 873 942 08 7 )

    The book is very insightful, and explores different school related environments in a way that could help you set out your concerns. It covers the classroom, the playground, the lunch queue and the journey to and from school. It is well illustrated with quotes from children on the spectrum. Clare Sainsbury used to provide a forum for students on the spectrum, and collated a lot of valuable information.

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  • I think you've gone a long way with identifying evidence in your postings. As others have suggested, write down instances of behaviour. In your second posting the paragraph about dropping pencils, how he grips them,  forgetting to go to the toilet etc., are worth recording so you can explain these.

    Once you've got a record of evidence written down it will be easier to provide the right explanation when the time comes. You may find there are differences between how he behaves at home and how he behaves at school. School provides a framework for daily routine, but also he may be reluctant to show himself up in front of other children for fear of being made fun of. He may therefore unleash the stress at home. It could be useful to record any such differences between home, school and other environments.

    It would be worth trying to get more facts about what goes on in school. Being different and feeling as if from another planet will make him feel bad about himself, but how his fellow pupils deal with this could be important, such as mocking or bullying. These might be relevant to fears about school, suicidal notions and changes in home behaviour. Write it down.

    There is a useful book, if you can track down a copy, as it was published 14 years ago, but it is still useful insight into school life for parents: "Martian in the Playground - understanding the schoolchild with Asperger's syndrome" by Clare Sainsbury (Lucky Duck Publishing 2000 - ISBN 1 873 942 08 7 )

    The book is very insightful, and explores different school related environments in a way that could help you set out your concerns. It covers the classroom, the playground, the lunch queue and the journey to and from school. It is well illustrated with quotes from children on the spectrum. Clare Sainsbury used to provide a forum for students on the spectrum, and collated a lot of valuable information.

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