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First CAMHS appointment - how do I get them to listen?

bertieh

Hi  - first time posting, so here goes.

After some battling, we finally have an appointment to be seen by our local CAMHS next week.  My nearly 8 yr old son (year 3) was referred asking for as ASD diagnosis initially, but this has been refused and instead we have a 'generic' assessment meeting.  I am not happy with this, but at least we have an appointment.  The letter says it is a CHOICE appointment. Does anyone have any experience of one of these and what to expect?  Do I need to coach my son into saying the right things so that we don't get dismissed?  He may very well not present as having difficulties in one half an hour meeting and he will be scared about the whole thing.

My son was referred to CAMHS as a toddler for very poor sleep and anxiety issues but after just one session, he was discharged.  I know what CAMHS is like and everyone I have spoken to about it has only negative things to say.  I know I will need to fight to not be fobbed off.

I desperately want an ASD assessment for my son - not because I want a label or because I want there to be something wrong, but because I want to help him and give him an equal chance.  He has very calmly talked about killing himself and has punched through a window.  He is academically bright and does not have disuptive behaviour at school, although he does have an IEP for his dyslexia and the school are supportive in pursuing an ASD assessement.  I am not making this up!

I am so worried about fluffing up the appointment and either not saying enough , saying too much, being too aggressive, not being assertive enough.  I know that the only way my son will get any help is through me, and if they just dismiss me as a neurotic mum (as they did last time) I won't be helping him, or my family.  I am so scared about being sent away with yet another photocopied sheet about fing reward charts.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.  Should I go all guns blazing or assume that these people actually remember some of their training and will actually want to help?  Thank you.

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    If you go in aggressively then two things might happen

    1) you will just annoy the people you are trying to persuade

    2) your behaviour may rub off on your son and he may have a meltdown or generally misbehave. They won't be able to assess him if he is worked up. Autistic behaviour shows up more clearly when someone is calm and there is no riotous behaviour to obscure the picture.

    Prepare yourself with all of the stories about his behaviour that you think might be relevant. Write these down and be prepared to give it to them to help make your case.

    If he misbehaves at home then are you prepared to take a long hard look at what happens at home? Is home life consistent and predicatable and fair from his point of view? Does he have space to go and be quiet? Are you unreasonably reasonable when you discuss things with him or do arguments develop and do the house rules get applied differently from one day to the next?

    In my opinion, (other opinions are available!) school suits a lot of autistic children because the rules are clear and applied consistently. Good behaviour and bad behaviour is identified and rewarded fairly from day to day and life doesn't have a lot of unexpected shocks and surprises which will unsettle an ASD child.

    Can your son articulate the things that get on his nerves? What does he say about his life?

Reply
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    If you go in aggressively then two things might happen

    1) you will just annoy the people you are trying to persuade

    2) your behaviour may rub off on your son and he may have a meltdown or generally misbehave. They won't be able to assess him if he is worked up. Autistic behaviour shows up more clearly when someone is calm and there is no riotous behaviour to obscure the picture.

    Prepare yourself with all of the stories about his behaviour that you think might be relevant. Write these down and be prepared to give it to them to help make your case.

    If he misbehaves at home then are you prepared to take a long hard look at what happens at home? Is home life consistent and predicatable and fair from his point of view? Does he have space to go and be quiet? Are you unreasonably reasonable when you discuss things with him or do arguments develop and do the house rules get applied differently from one day to the next?

    In my opinion, (other opinions are available!) school suits a lot of autistic children because the rules are clear and applied consistently. Good behaviour and bad behaviour is identified and rewarded fairly from day to day and life doesn't have a lot of unexpected shocks and surprises which will unsettle an ASD child.

    Can your son articulate the things that get on his nerves? What does he say about his life?

Children
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