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Relationship problems

Bridalwhistle

I'm really struggling in my relationship and need some help on how to look after my partner and myself. 

Recently my partner told me the only reason she's with me is because she has nowhere else to go. And when I try to talk about how I'm feeling I'm called selfish. She's got ADHD and I don't always do things to match and help her needs, and make small mistakes (dontbwr all though?) That feel like life or death,but I feel like I'm a target for anger and resentment over these things. One recent example is when I cancelled a cat sitter appointment because we'd both be in. I didn't tell her but thought it was common knowledge the cat sitter wasn't coming, and acted on initiative. I shouldn't feel like I have to ask her to do most tasks like this.

We're supposed to be getting married in December but I think we need to delay this to get back on track and start to feel more happy about the idea of getting married. I don't know what to do. I have a councillor who I will be talking to on Friday. 

Parents

  • You both need to talk or through but don't make. My mistake and assume that a decision has been landed on without verifying it again 

    Long story short I was under the assumption that we had agreed the relationship was over if one slight communication problem  occurred and it did so I got out the way spent all my time in the bedroom all day and slept in the living room. At night I eventually got Into another relationship (long distwnce) and after that didn't work it took months to actually get thinga back on track with my partner of 15 years but even now we don't see each other too often I'm (miserably) living on my own and the life I once had seems a long way off 

    Talk it out figure out what works out best for both of you have I of done the same I may of had a better life right now 

  • in reply to Thpsguy

    That does help thank you. Talking it through with each other, and being honest too. It's never too late to do that even for you yourself. If it's not serving you or your partner any good maybe you need to look at moving on

  • in reply to Bridalwhistle

    I'd cancel the wedding, you've posted a couple of times recently about problems with your partner, I don't think you're in a good headstate to taking such a massive step right now. Your partner needs help to get her head sorted out and so do you, you could easily drag each other down and end up in a horrible co-dependent cycle which will do no one any good.

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    I agree  I think I will start my postponing the wedding to give ourselves more time to get in the right frame of mind after everything that has happened

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