It's been almost two years since I got drunk, for the first, and only time. I'm not a social person, and I avoid drink entirely, I don't think most alcohol tastes nice. I was volunteering for a football club at the time as a reporter, and in a massive cup game we won on penalties, we all hit the bar post game and with Ireland V England on the television the drinking just...started, and didn't stop. Everyone other than me was drunk when the coach departed, and with a two hour journey the drinking, indeed kept going. The chairman dared me to drink a can of lager, I drank it all in one gulp, and then I drank a second, and then a third, and I think I ended up drinking 7 cans of lager in less than an hour.
I felt this wonderful rush of emotions. I felt euphoric and I felt I had confidence. But I knew deep down, even then, I could never do what I did that night ever again. I'd always be chasing a feeling I'd never get back. A feeling, and I know this sounds cliche, but the feeling I was finally "cured". Cured after a life time of stimming, stuttering and anxiety. Cured after a life time of self doubt and fear. I felt like finally I was awake after I was sealed away my entire life. I was laughing, joking, flirting, approaching people striking up random conversations. I remember coming home. For the first time ever in my lifetime I actually spoke to my parents about the things on my mind, a failed relationship, a feeling that life wasn't for me, a feeling that I'd never find anyone, but even though I was crying it didn't matter, because in that moment, I was truly free.
Personal circumstances mean I'm considering drinking again, at home. What relationship do you have with alcohol? Have you ever felt a sense of freedom whilst inebriated?
