Wearing sunglasses to avoid socializing

I think you’re right, my son told me to buy some overhead headphones, they signal this person is unavailable.

Could I ask which headphones you use and why?

HiDarkElf  

I totally get where you’re coming from. When I’m out walking I deliberately go to the places where I’m unlikely to see anyone. If I do see anyone my anxiety rises as we’re approaching each other.

I find that wearing sun glasses makes me anonymous somehow and a baseball cap is also a good idea. I’ve even worn sunglasses in therapy when I’ve been feeling particularly vulnerable even though I rarely make eye contact with my therapist. I just feel protected and I can just breathe more easily.

I agree with DoraXplora and Orangegnome , headphones might be a better way to indicate that you are not open to socializing. If you are uncomfortable with not hearing environmental cues (ex footsteps near you or cars passing), then I recommend wearing headphones/earphones with no music and noise cancellation off. Other people do not need to know that you aren’t listening to anything!

I wear overhead headphones (I'm very picky about how my music sounds). I wear glasses too, including prescription sunnies, but glasses in my experience aren't as effective as headphones.

I wonder what it is about you that makes people approach you to chat? Do you know these people? I also walk a lot, often with headphones on but sometimes not, always with sunglasses on. No one apprches me, maybe I look unapproachable?! It might depend where you live also. I have no tips. 

DarkElf said:

Anyone here wear sunglasses to avoid socializing? Does it actually work?

I’d say that my experiences with wearing sunglasses have been mixed. In social situations where everyone‘s wearing them, I’m not sure they make as much of a difference as when I’m wearing them, but no one else is.

When I used to swim regularly, I certainly noticed that having goggles with mirrored lenses made people less inclined to try and speak to me during breaks from swimming. I believe it was because they couldn’t see my eyes, or where I was looking - which can be an important cue in communication.

With sunglasses, I think the same principle can apply. Not that mirrored lenses would be needed - although I did actually choose them myself, for that reason - just a tint that’s dark enough to make your eyes harder to see. But I think it would be reasonable to expect that some people would still try to interact with you.

In terms of getting a comfortable fit, I’d definitely recommend trying some pairs on at your local opticians. They can make any adjustments that are possible. When I used to wear prescription sunglasses, I would choose a frame from their standard range, and they’d put tinted lenses into them. So that might be an option, if you struggle to find a good or comfortable fit with any ready-made sunglasses, even with adjustments.

My pair is the Aviator Classic, and right now it’s running for $191 (I’m in the States). I only agree to paying that extreme price because I know I’m going to be wearing them for YEARS. I take really good care of them.

I wear Ray Ban aviators and I’m never going back. It feels like I’m wearing nothing on my face when I have them on. I don’t know if I’d recommend that for you, though, since they’re pretty expensive. I’d hate to recommend that, it not work for you, then you’re stuck with a pair of expensive glasses you’ll never be able to use…

Dear DarkElf,

I don't know if this is any help but some people find the sensation of sunglasses more difficult as they simply don't fit. I know from my own experience of poor fitting glasses that it can be helpful to have them fitted to your own head. There are some helpful guides online on how you can try and get them to fit. 

I thought I would also recommend taking a look at: Autism and sensory processing

I hope some of the community are able to offer some further advise and their lived experiences. 

Take care,

Olivia Mod