First post, struggling more than usual.

indeed, but Chat GPT, really, I read the newspaper daily and am scared of any AI. Really, you use it???

exactly, but having to go into the world to make a living, to keep a roof over our head means we need the balance between not giving a monkeys and also being our true selves.

exactly how I would have replied, thank you for helping me confirm our beliefs. 

Great post and welcome to AuDHDville, Angie23 I like your attitude! 

Just want to say I've been listening to your recommendation of 'The way out is In' podcast, and even though I'm not at the point of doing the practice, it's really helped to just listen to, as their presence is really calming. If I'm getting anxious and stressed, just putting that on has really helped. 

re the dropping, spilling and bumping into doorframes don't also rule out dyspraxia too (he says the day after dropping a glass out of a top cupboard in the kitchen with shards everywhere)

I'm looking to privately fund a dyspraxia assessent  (NHS funding is v unlikely).  My son was diagnosed with DCD around 13 years ago, and now I'm thinking more about myself (following AuDHD diagnoses) , I suspect I may have dyspraxia too

Understand there's a lot of overlaps with my other ND conditions but think there's enough to at least seek an assessment - it may not change much but I'd like to know

Yay!Thats the spirit

You’ve come to the right place - in my experience this is such a good place to come and talk about things as other autistic people understand and can relate to other autistic people. My birth family never understood me and regularly would tell me I was being too sensitive or over-reacting etc etc. Fortunately my husband is very understanding of my autistic traits and both my adult children also have autism- so they totally get it too. But you’re never alone - this community is great and so supportive.

You sound very overwhelmed- which is such a common experience for autistic people. Over a period of 3 or 4 years I’ve got a lot better at managing my feelings of overwhelm and anxiety by learning about Mindfulness and Buddhism. I’ve found that with time I can get better at living in the moment, and grounding myself by focusing on what’s happening right now rather than ruminating on past things or worrying about what will happen in the future. I know that Mindfulness is a commonly discussed thing now - kind of trendy - but when you look into deeply and give it time I really think it can help. For instance if I’m starting to feel overwhelmed or really anxious I’ll get outside and go for a walk - and really concentrate on everything around me, the feel of the breeze and the sun on my skin, the sound of the birds or traffic, the smell of the grass etc. Or I might have something to eat and put a lot of care into the preparation, and really focus on the tastes and textures when I eat. I find these sorts of things can slow the mind down and help it to focus on one thing at a time - rather than having a frantic, restless mind. It does take time - but over the months your mind gets better and better and settling onto the things you’re actually doing and experiencing in the present moment. Eckhart Tolle is pretty good at teaching these practices too - although I got into it through a Zen Master called Thich Nhat Hanh - there’s loads of free material on YouTube etc if you want to check it out (the YouTube channel is called Plum Village and the podcast is called The Way out is In. )

I’ve struggled all my life with a lot of anxiety related problems and this is what has helped me the most. I get better at having a more settled mind, and worrying less. I had a very difficult childhood and very unsympathetic parents - and it’s also helped me to make peace with that too. 
The important thing to keep in mind though is that it takes time for these things to really change how you react to things - so it requires consistency and patience’s as you sort of re-train your mind. I think a lot of autistic people are highly sensitive and they react very strongly to what’s around them - and to the bad behaviour of others - and suffer as a result. Through Mindfulness and Buddhist philosophy I’ve been able to build a bit more ‘space’ between myself and the things that trigger my anxiety. It’s subtle change to the way I think but in many ways but it’s definitely helped a lot. I do still have really bad days and crisis moments sometimes - but they happen less often and I recover from them more quickly. 

Re. your family: I’m sorry that they don’t get it. It’s possible that they never will. Trying to change them is probably a waste of your time - instead focus on building your own inner peace and strength - and then their words won’t hurt you so much. 

Trust me - there’s a lot you can do to make your mental state calmer and more rested. This is not forever - things can get better, try to be patient and learn strategies that can help you. Good luck! 

Thank you for kind words and I'm working on it. 

Oooooo this hit hard.Especially when you said people at home call you too sensitive.I had that said to me my whole life and it is crippling.I got diagnosed with ADHD last August,then Autism 2 weeks ago so im a fully qualified AuDHDHonestly there will come a moment when you will just say"sod it"Now is the time to be yourself!Your true,undiluted,unapologetically you.What I realised after my Autism diagnosis last week is that all the things people found difficult about me were not my fault and now,I dont feel ashamed or scared or even worried to be completly me.I hope you know that we are all special and all have our own unique talents to share with the world.Positive and high vibe energy coming at ya

hi I like reading, doing jigsaws, diamond painting, animals (have a family dog), wordsearches, card making, playing with fidgets, cuddly toys, watching YouTube and listening to music. 

Welcome to team AuDHD. Never a dull day! 

Welcome to our pod

Thank you

I am thank you, I have been putting my energy into writing things down, which has turned into poetry (my riot words). 

Take care. Know you are special with superpowers and also know power should be used carefully. Slowing down to prioritise what to focus on helps, versus naturally tendency to try to achieve everything. Double checking also helps, so frying pan doesn't go up on fire! Care for your senses. Calm starts in the morning with journaling and writing up your story from meaning of life to your purpose and operating principles to your prioritised tasks helps. Get and stay in control. Chat GPT can be helpful used with care too. 

Hey congrats on your diagnosis and hope it helps with the answers you were seeking and understanding yourself a little better.

Hope you are doing a little better generally too.

Just a quick update.  I had my ADHD assessment yesterday and received the answer this morning. Inattentive ADHD. So I am now a fully fledged member of Audhd. 

Thank you all that have answered, just overwhelmed by how kind everyone has been. 

Hey, first off - no apology needed. That's not a rant, it's real life, and a lot of us late-diagnosed folks know exactly this spiral.

You're describing classic AuDHD overlap: sensory overload cranked up post-diagnosis (masking drops, everything hits harder), executive function chaos (projects everywhere, brain on overdrive), poor interoception/spatial stuff (spills, burns, doorframes "attacking" you). The yellow minion? Yeah - that's the ADHD voice yelling "do ALL the things!" while autism says, "but make it perfect."

Family not getting it? Painful, but common. They see "too sensitive" - you feel "overwhelmed and unseen." You're not weak; you're exhausted from constant translation.

For GP: go to that one who listens - say "late autism diagnosis, sensory/executive struggles worsening, need referral to neurodivergent-aware OT or psych." If they brush it off, push for a second opinion.

You're welcome here. Vent anytime - no "shake it off" required. 

The following links may be helpful to you:

• NAS After Diagnosis Guide: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/diagnosis/after-diagnosis Simple rundown on what support to ask GP for (OT, sensory assessment)—no fluff.
  
  
• Neurodiverse Self Advocacy Forum (late-diagnosed threads): https://ndsa.uk/forum/ Real chats about overload, unfinished projects, and family not getting it—feels like mates, not pros.
  
  
• ADHD Adult UK (AuDHD overlap): https://www.adhdadult.uk/ If the "yellow minion" bit rings true—podcasts, tips on alarms/notifications without meltdown.