Hi Everyone,
This is my first post. I was diagnosed with autism in August 24 at the age of 38. Since then I have gone through every emotion possible. I thought I had been coping well, with better understanding of triggers and how to possibly manage them, but the last few months I have been really struggling. Sensory issues are so strong, that it really causing issues at home.
On top of that I feel like life is more erratic than usual. I can be hyper focused sometimes but usually my brain is going 3000 miles an hour, I swear I have a yellow minion living in my brain. I start lots of projects, very rarely finishing them. I have alarms and notifications pinging most of the day, which my senses are loving...not, but it's the only way to try and keep track. I get told I don't listen but if they just stick their head round the door talking without getting my attention as I am usually wearing noise cancelling headphones, how am I to know they are talking to me?
My spatial awareness is horrific, I am constantly spilling things or knocking things over. I have to use spill proof cups and bottles all the time and the joke in our house is that doorframe jumped out and hit me. I swear I was walking straight. This week I have had three fights with the airfryer and from the burns on my arm I'm sure you can tell who won. I'm considering speaking to my GP but there is only one at my practice that will listen. I have had some very negative and distressing experiences with medical professionals. I don't know if my traits could be overlapping or whether these come under autism.
I don't have anyone really at home to discuss with, as I keep getting told...I don't get it. Frustrated that I don't really have anyone to sound-board off or anyone who "gets it". My family thinks I should be able to shake it and get on with it, that I'm just too sensitive. It's really not that easy for me.
I am spending so much energy trying to get things right, I could just spend my whole day crying and sleeping.
Sorry for the rant.
