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13 year old is peeing into tubs in her room

Kirstysaw

Hi all,

I have just come across this forum and thought I would see if anyone has been in the same position and has any advice they can offer me. 

My daughter is 13 and we are currently waiting on an assessment so not officially diagnosed but I strongly believe she is on the spectrum somewhere.

She has always had problems with bladder control and we have been referred to specialists but none seem to find anything wrong. She has recently, over the last few months started peeing into things in her bedroom which is never big enough so it spills all over the carpet. She will wee into anything, pots that are meant to be draw organisers, bowls and even sweet packets. She then hides them under her bed. We are constantly (twice this weekend) cleaning the carpet with a carpet cleaner but her room smells awful.

We have tried to talk to her but she won't admit what she is doing. She likes to keep such a clean and tidy room so this is bizarre that she doesn't seem to mind her room smelling of urine.

She has her own bathroom literally next to her bedroom, we have a nightlight just outside the door too but she just won't stop doing it.

We have also recently discovered she started her period but won't talk about it and she is hiding used sanitary towels in her draws with her clean clothes. We just don't know what to do to help her!

Has anyone else experienced anything like this and have any advice?

Parents

  • Hey, sounds like a tricky situation. Apart from all the great links below, could it be more what's going on in her head too? Which could be very complicated. It's like you could do with being referred to someone in CAMHS more than bladder and bowel? (though I hope you don't have a huge waiting list as it's more urgent). 

    Regarding talking about it, do you try written conversations, like notes? I sometimes do that with my kids, as sometimes they find it difficult to talk, but might write it out. Sometimes just a question and tick boxes for responses, or we sit and have a mix of silly and considered questions on post-it notes -that way at least you can find out a little about what's going on then. If it's some sort of fear of going/ being perceived, just not being able to feel it coming till it's too late (interoception issues?).

    In the mean time, this might sounds messy, but have you considered trying to find something like an old fashioned chamber pot? It's not ideal, but if she's doing it anyway, it could at least make it less messy, and then show her how to empty it. Eventually that might be able to be moved to the bathroom, and then using the toilet again.  There might be sensory issues around using the toilet/bathroom?

    With the pads, it might be worth finding some info on toxic shock syndrome, not to scare her but to show there is a health reason whey they need to go in a bin.  Does she have a bin for them in her room? (Eventually it might go in the bathroom, but making it really easy might be a first step.) And provide hand gel? Or even get those little bags and give her them in her room, then she can pop them in a bag, then pop them in a bin.

    My daughter still had accidents as she is afraid of going at school, which we have been working through with the school, but sometimes she just doesn't seem to notice the need till she's bursting and might not quite make it, even at home.  For her she knows she can let me know if she needs clothing, I won't be cross, and she can put her clothes straight into the washing machine.  She prefers telling me, as her dad always show a little bit of annoyance, where as I make sure she knows I will look out and help her, so it helps her feel less shame about it.

    I hope you can figure something out and get proper help!

Reply

  • Hey, sounds like a tricky situation. Apart from all the great links below, could it be more what's going on in her head too? Which could be very complicated. It's like you could do with being referred to someone in CAMHS more than bladder and bowel? (though I hope you don't have a huge waiting list as it's more urgent). 

    Regarding talking about it, do you try written conversations, like notes? I sometimes do that with my kids, as sometimes they find it difficult to talk, but might write it out. Sometimes just a question and tick boxes for responses, or we sit and have a mix of silly and considered questions on post-it notes -that way at least you can find out a little about what's going on then. If it's some sort of fear of going/ being perceived, just not being able to feel it coming till it's too late (interoception issues?).

    In the mean time, this might sounds messy, but have you considered trying to find something like an old fashioned chamber pot? It's not ideal, but if she's doing it anyway, it could at least make it less messy, and then show her how to empty it. Eventually that might be able to be moved to the bathroom, and then using the toilet again.  There might be sensory issues around using the toilet/bathroom?

    With the pads, it might be worth finding some info on toxic shock syndrome, not to scare her but to show there is a health reason whey they need to go in a bin.  Does she have a bin for them in her room? (Eventually it might go in the bathroom, but making it really easy might be a first step.) And provide hand gel? Or even get those little bags and give her them in her room, then she can pop them in a bag, then pop them in a bin.

    My daughter still had accidents as she is afraid of going at school, which we have been working through with the school, but sometimes she just doesn't seem to notice the need till she's bursting and might not quite make it, even at home.  For her she knows she can let me know if she needs clothing, I won't be cross, and she can put her clothes straight into the washing machine.  She prefers telling me, as her dad always show a little bit of annoyance, where as I make sure she knows I will look out and help her, so it helps her feel less shame about it.

    I hope you can figure something out and get proper help!

Children
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