do I have asd

thank you everyone for your comments. i think i need to really think long and hard about it all and then decide what to do.

I dont deny the accuracy of the term, but consider it important to do everything possibly to combat the public perception of inferiority. I get tired of hearing "Autard" on the street...anyhow, lets stop highjacking the thread...we can discuss the proper somantics of Autism elsewhere if you want...

About Monkeys issue; you are certainly entitled to attend a parents support group on the basis of your sons condition...do so...some of the parents will have a diagnosis, you may well experiance some kind of epiphany when interacting for the first time socially with your people (it was a powerful moment for me when I first met someone I immediately recognised as one of my own.)

About seeking diagnosis, your statements above are good enough for me to accept your ASV and most likely the rest of the forum, but if you want to seek services or claim benefits for youself then a diagnosis will be necessary. If you do claim a diagnosis for yourself, you might also attend a support group for persons on the spectrum as that will help you in different ways to the parents/carers group. 

monkey said:

 When I was little I used to describe it as there was a brick wall between me and everyone and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't knock it down. 

I think this line particularly telling.

Thanks Outraged for clarifying your terminology. Personally, I don't have too much of an issue with the D word because I know that I have a real problem that merited a diagnosis and which needs real actions to deal with it.

I'm not sure social phobia applies here. Monkey is married, cites social difficulties but doesn't say anything about anxiety in going about her life and mixing with people in the outside world.

It is quite common for close acquaintances to not identify ASD in people. The husband's opinion here doesn't have a great value unless he is trained in looking for the tell-tale traits of the condition.

Monkey, have you looked into whether there are local NAS support groups for parents or sufferers? I'm sure you would be welcome to go along and share and learn with other parents (some of whom will also be sufferers)

Or you could have social phobia? It is possible to have AS and to make friends, but generally the friendships are one-sided and atypical. There is a sense that, in general, you are not very popular and do not fit in. Long periods can be spent alone, having been excluded from the group, and the group becomes more important during the teenage years, when socialising is no longer about just having one or two close friends.

ASC can be genetic and the traits can occur in close relatives, but are not always enough to be diagnosable. Whether or not it is diagnosable depends on the severity and degree of traits, how much they cause disability and  hindrance.Whether or not you seek assessment is a very personal decision, and you do not need your husband's consent. Only you can know if the traits you have are causing you significant disability and/or distress.

Looks fairly conclusive. Cameleon-like social behavour is typical of females with Aspergers 

Multiple choice questionaires such as you have taken are the primary diagnostic tool for ASVs in adults. Therefore scoring highly on these tests indicateds strong likelyhood of ASV and you could seek a diagnosis on that basis. Can you tell us something about your childhood/adolescent social interaction as this is where ASVs have their most promenant impact on life? 

I've always had difficulties socially. When I was younger I made friends but was never myself with anyone not even my parents. When I was little I used to describe it as there was a brick wall between me and everyone and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't knock it down. I spoke to my husband and he doesn't think I have asd, that I'm only worse now because of stress with my son and that I'm reading too much into everything. So I don't know what to think now? 

These things can be genetic. The doctor won't think you are being stupid. Please try not to worry :)

AutismSpectrumVariance...I refuse to perpetuate the label "disorder"

Outraged, what does ASV stand for?