Being referred

Hi Ellioru,

 My heart goes out to you and your partner. Few realize the courage that many face in even getting to the GP in the first place to ask for an assessment. Having ones concerns apparently dismissed in such a caviller way is deeply demoralizing and not at all helpful for the person concerned. It is clear his GP has little idea of the implications or even the symptoms if he has ignored his own questionnaire outcome and I would suggest you return with your partner next time he goes, in order to support him. My boys; both on the spectrum, will not go to any appointments without support and I can sympathize with how difficult it can be to be assertive when in such a situation or confronted with such resistance.

Whist I agree on some level with Hope, that self-diagnosis can be dangerous, in my view that is usually the case when an individual is without adequate support from friends and family.

I also know of many who greatly suspect they have ASD, but choose not to go through the process of a formal diagnosis for many different reasons. Some have very supportive NT partners and feel secure in their world, others fear prejudice, but still more find comfort in simply knowing and accepting their difference and exploring ways of supporting themselves through life, based on their own understanding of their needs and not that of a formal diagnosis. In my view there is no right or wrong way, it’s just how you as an individual feel about knowing.

In researching my own childrens condition, I’ve come to realize they’ve inherited it from me. I’m nearly 50 and feel certain I have ASD, but have only recently come to realize that my difficulty; as clearly witnessed by many when I was young, is due to the condition. My brothers have it, my father had it and so do my two boys. The balance of probability is that I do too.

My journey through life has been an extremely difficult due to my social communication difficulties and frequent stress related illness. Additionally, the depression that has ensued has been very severe. Had I received a diagnosis and perhaps some understanding of my difference through the research of such a condition at a younger age, then maybe life would have been easier for me to manage. Despite no diagnosis, I’m learning so much about myself, as well as my children and I’m finding that a great comfort. Proof perhaps, that a formal diagnosis isn’t always necessary to make a difference. My depression has lifted for now, and I’m beginning to finally feel at ease with knowing who I really am and simply accepting that I will and have always had, difficulty.

Personally, I would push for an assessment if it’s what he wants. Don’t be fobbed off. I could be wrong, but given your GP’s suggestion you go private, their maybe a cost factor involved to your GP’s practice, which is marring his judgement in sending your partner for an assessment under the NHS. Issues of money, if pertinent, should not be a factor in the assessment or treatment of patients, but appear to be a real and reoccurring barrier to those hoping to find answers and improve their daily coping ability. It’s a sad fact that money has a real impact on the care we receive now.

Knowing, will give you some certainty and a base from which to learn new strategies to cope. However, coping will always be a daily battle, diagnosis or not, and is still very much in your partners hands as to how he deals with the knowledge a diagnosis brings.

I wish you luck.

Coogybear xx

Hi Ellioru,

 My heart goes out to you and your partner. Few realize the courage that many face in even getting to the GP in the first place to ask for an assessment. Having ones concerns apparently dismissed in such a caviller way is deeply demoralizing and not at all helpful for the person concerned. It is clear his GP has little idea of the implications or even the symptoms if he has ignored his own questionnaire outcome and I would suggest you return with your partner next time he goes, in order to support him. My boys; both on the spectrum, will not go to any appointments without support and I can sympathize with how difficult it can be to be assertive when in such a situation or confronted with such resistance.

Whist I agree on some level with Hope, that self-diagnosis can be dangerous, in my view that is usually the case when an individual is without adequate support from friends and family.

I also know of many who greatly suspect they have ASD, but choose not to go through the process of a formal diagnosis for many different reasons. Some have very supportive NT partners and feel secure in their world, others fear prejudice, but still more find comfort in simply knowing and accepting their difference and exploring ways of supporting themselves through life, based on their own understanding of their needs and not that of a formal diagnosis. In my view there is no right or wrong way, it’s just how you as an individual feel about knowing.

In researching my own childrens condition, I’ve come to realize they’ve inherited it from me. I’m nearly 50 and feel certain I have ASD, but have only recently come to realize that my difficulty; as clearly witnessed by many when I was young, is due to the condition. My brothers have it, my father had it and so do my two boys. The balance of probability is that I do too.

My journey through life has been an extremely difficult due to my social communication difficulties and frequent stress related illness. Additionally, the depression that has ensued has been very severe. Had I received a diagnosis and perhaps some understanding of my difference through the research of such a condition at a younger age, then maybe life would have been easier for me to manage. Despite no diagnosis, I’m learning so much about myself, as well as my children and I’m finding that a great comfort. Proof perhaps, that a formal diagnosis isn’t always necessary to make a difference. My depression has lifted for now, and I’m beginning to finally feel at ease with knowing who I really am and simply accepting that I will and have always had, difficulty.

Personally, I would push for an assessment if it’s what he wants. Don’t be fobbed off. I could be wrong, but given your GP’s suggestion you go private, their maybe a cost factor involved to your GP’s practice, which is marring his judgement in sending your partner for an assessment under the NHS. Issues of money, if pertinent, should not be a factor in the assessment or treatment of patients, but appear to be a real and reoccurring barrier to those hoping to find answers and improve their daily coping ability. It’s a sad fact that money has a real impact on the care we receive now.

Knowing, will give you some certainty and a base from which to learn new strategies to cope. However, coping will always be a daily battle, diagnosis or not, and is still very much in your partners hands as to how he deals with the knowledge a diagnosis brings.

I wish you luck.

Coogybear xx