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Why does none of this make sense?

ladynicotine

I've existed with depression for 17 years, medication works intermittantly, but am slowly & steadily getting worse.  There is a family history of depression, so I suspect I've got a dodgy gene somewhere.

 

Two months ago I was diagnosed as having ASD.  I've suspected this was the case for a number of years, but I seem to be finding people more & more difficult to relate to - probably as a result of the worsening depression.  I thought that getting an ASD diagnosis would mean I might be able to get some help with the "social communication" difficulties I'm having, & this might help lift the depression.  I know I will never be free of either.  However, all I seem to have got is "yes, you've got ASD, off you go & have a nice life".

 

I know I'm very lucky.  I'm still managing to work (I have to, to pay the mortgage), & I have no major issues communicating with people.  However all I can find is information along the lines of "you can deal with these issues in these ways" - but I don't really know what my issues are in any detail.  Apparently I'm supposed to feel relieved as a result of my diagnosis as now I "know I'm not alone".  This makes no sense to me - how does knowing others are suffering make me feel better?  I've tried asking the psychologist who diagnosed me & she couldn't/wouldn't explain.

The only person who seems to have benefited from the diagnosis is my psychiatrist - as I suspect that all the problems I've had with medication/therapy over the years will now be put down to "you're misinterpretting it because you have ASD".

What am I doing wrong?

Parents

  • It does  make a lot of sense, at least to someone who has been in much the same place.

    Remember that the diagnosis is based on the things you appear to a neurotypical person to do less well than neurotypical people. It does not include the things you can do better than them or the things you can do and they can't do at all. You are a cat that has just been assessed by dogs as to how doglike you are.You can't bark and they can't land on their feet.

    As for getting help on how to be better with people I just don't know. I have had to accept that however well i look like I'm doing in a social situation, it is done by means of copying and doing what I see works for others. It can never be the second-nature fun thing it is for an NT person. But find another person on the spectrum and we understand each other just fine with no problems and no awkwardness and no sense that either of us is missing half the interaction because we miss the cues and signs.

    I hope some of this rambling is of use!

Reply

  • It does  make a lot of sense, at least to someone who has been in much the same place.

    Remember that the diagnosis is based on the things you appear to a neurotypical person to do less well than neurotypical people. It does not include the things you can do better than them or the things you can do and they can't do at all. You are a cat that has just been assessed by dogs as to how doglike you are.You can't bark and they can't land on their feet.

    As for getting help on how to be better with people I just don't know. I have had to accept that however well i look like I'm doing in a social situation, it is done by means of copying and doing what I see works for others. It can never be the second-nature fun thing it is for an NT person. But find another person on the spectrum and we understand each other just fine with no problems and no awkwardness and no sense that either of us is missing half the interaction because we miss the cues and signs.

    I hope some of this rambling is of use!

Children
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