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Why does none of this make sense?

ladynicotine

I've existed with depression for 17 years, medication works intermittantly, but am slowly & steadily getting worse.  There is a family history of depression, so I suspect I've got a dodgy gene somewhere.

 

Two months ago I was diagnosed as having ASD.  I've suspected this was the case for a number of years, but I seem to be finding people more & more difficult to relate to - probably as a result of the worsening depression.  I thought that getting an ASD diagnosis would mean I might be able to get some help with the "social communication" difficulties I'm having, & this might help lift the depression.  I know I will never be free of either.  However, all I seem to have got is "yes, you've got ASD, off you go & have a nice life".

 

I know I'm very lucky.  I'm still managing to work (I have to, to pay the mortgage), & I have no major issues communicating with people.  However all I can find is information along the lines of "you can deal with these issues in these ways" - but I don't really know what my issues are in any detail.  Apparently I'm supposed to feel relieved as a result of my diagnosis as now I "know I'm not alone".  This makes no sense to me - how does knowing others are suffering make me feel better?  I've tried asking the psychologist who diagnosed me & she couldn't/wouldn't explain.

The only person who seems to have benefited from the diagnosis is my psychiatrist - as I suspect that all the problems I've had with medication/therapy over the years will now be put down to "you're misinterpretting it because you have ASD".

What am I doing wrong?

Parents

  • I don't think personal messages are possible. Moderator? Some advice please.

    If what I write strikes a chord with you I am ok to continue on here.

    I was interested to read that you did not really derive any personal benefit from getting the diagnosis. I began the diagnostic process a little over a year ago. I didn't feel relief because there were others in the same boat (seems daft to me too) but because I could forgive myself for not being like everyone else no matter how hard I tried to be. I had carried a huge burden without realising it

    But apart from that they give you a label that says you think differently from everyone, see the world differently, will be seen diffeently, you assign importance to different things, you want different things - but you get no help in finding what all that means and how you can make life better for yourself.

Reply

  • I don't think personal messages are possible. Moderator? Some advice please.

    If what I write strikes a chord with you I am ok to continue on here.

    I was interested to read that you did not really derive any personal benefit from getting the diagnosis. I began the diagnostic process a little over a year ago. I didn't feel relief because there were others in the same boat (seems daft to me too) but because I could forgive myself for not being like everyone else no matter how hard I tried to be. I had carried a huge burden without realising it

    But apart from that they give you a label that says you think differently from everyone, see the world differently, will be seen diffeently, you assign importance to different things, you want different things - but you get no help in finding what all that means and how you can make life better for yourself.

Children
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