I've existed with depression for 17 years, medication works intermittantly, but am slowly & steadily getting worse. There is a family history of depression, so I suspect I've got a dodgy gene somewhere.
Two months ago I was diagnosed as having ASD. I've suspected this was the case for a number of years, but I seem to be finding people more & more difficult to relate to - probably as a result of the worsening depression. I thought that getting an ASD diagnosis would mean I might be able to get some help with the "social communication" difficulties I'm having, & this might help lift the depression. I know I will never be free of either. However, all I seem to have got is "yes, you've got ASD, off you go & have a nice life".
I know I'm very lucky. I'm still managing to work (I have to, to pay the mortgage), & I have no major issues communicating with people. However all I can find is information along the lines of "you can deal with these issues in these ways" - but I don't really know what my issues are in any detail. Apparently I'm supposed to feel relieved as a result of my diagnosis as now I "know I'm not alone". This makes no sense to me - how does knowing others are suffering make me feel better? I've tried asking the psychologist who diagnosed me & she couldn't/wouldn't explain.
The only person who seems to have benefited from the diagnosis is my psychiatrist - as I suspect that all the problems I've had with medication/therapy over the years will now be put down to "you're misinterpretting it because you have ASD".
What am I doing wrong?
. I suspect the shrink's next approach is going to be to try & pack me off to yet another therapist, hopefully this time specialising in ASD, but I have so few reserves left that it feels too dangerous to trust anyone now, as another bad experience might be the one that makes me fall apart completely.