Why does none of this make sense?

Ladynicotine

I'm not sure you are doing anything wrong and yes I know its not much consolation to you that others also suffer with ASD, but you are not alone on two fronts. 

Firstly, Many with ASD ask themselves exactly that. What am I doing wrong? Why am I struggling and everybody else seems to be able to cope, Why am I depressed? Why is it getting worse? If you are one of those people, then knowing the reason behind your anxieties can be the key to learning to manage them.

Secondly, You are also not alone in feeling abandoned. Even parents with children on the spectrum are more or less left to get on with things with little advice.

Knowing you have a condition can affect people in many different ways. You could feel relief about knowing why your depression has affected you for instance or you could feel even more depressed about being diagnosed. Personally, I find the former much more productive than the later.

Treating a symptom not the cause is a common affliction in our society today yet with ASD it's imperative in my view. With something like ASD their is no treating the cause only management of the things that make you anxcious and produce the symptom of anxiety or depression. It' s the reverse in many ways to what you might think. Knowing this is often the first phase to moving forward from diagnosis.

May I be bold and suggest that i think you maybe trying to treat the cause, not manage your symptom of anxiety. Looking for 'a cure. with a condition that cannot be 'treated' in the conventional sense (a social communication disorder) is often futile. It's a lifelong neurological deficit which is pervasive. Of course you can learn the rules that govern social communication and clearly you have already to a certain extent, because you hold down a job and have gotten by.

Reading ones own signs of anxiety can often be quite difficult and our knee jerk reaction to things that make us uncomfortable is often to recoil. However, sometimes what we most need is to push ourselves outside our comfort zone and sometimes we need to recognise that a situation is too overwelming and move away. Balance is another key. We have to try and experience a multitude of things many times over to get a good gage on how we are affected, but our awareness needs to be more self-awareness focused.

I have two sons with ASD. One embraced his diagnosis and is learning to find coping strategies to sooth his anxiety and thus control his depression. The other spends his whole time consumed with wanting to be someone other than he is, which increases his anxiety. For that reason he's exhausted and also now very deeply depressed.

I always feel being high functioning can be the most cruel of afflictions. You appear that you can cope and others assume you can. Yet inside you can be desparately calling for help.

Finding ways of reducing anxiety seems to me to be the best course of action. Mindfulness, CBT, Self awareness classes, anything to raise your own awareness of why you feel a certain way and acting on those indicators will begin to reduce the anxiety and in turn lift the depression.

If we are anxious for prolonged periods we may become depressed. the more we feel depressed the more anxcious we become and before you know it you feel the depression deepening. Breaking the cycle is key.

Mindfulness for example is the practice of acknowledging ones feelings and thoughts as they come to us and if we choose, then letting them go. Great practice to break the cycle if your thoughts are stuck in a never ending circle as many with ASD are.

Each person on the spectrum reacts differently and for that reason the journey is a very personal one. What works for one, may not work for another, however once you begin to recognise your triggers, things will change and hopefully you may find the depression lifting.

I hope my rather drawn out and muddled explaination is of some help. I wish i'd been told some of this years back. Perhaps I would not have wasted so much time searching for the holy grail.

I wish you luck

Coogybear XX

Ladynicotine

I'm not sure you are doing anything wrong and yes I know its not much consolation to you that others also suffer with ASD, but you are not alone on two fronts. 

Firstly, Many with ASD ask themselves exactly that. What am I doing wrong? Why am I struggling and everybody else seems to be able to cope, Why am I depressed? Why is it getting worse? If you are one of those people, then knowing the reason behind your anxieties can be the key to learning to manage them.

Secondly, You are also not alone in feeling abandoned. Even parents with children on the spectrum are more or less left to get on with things with little advice.

Knowing you have a condition can affect people in many different ways. You could feel relief about knowing why your depression has affected you for instance or you could feel even more depressed about being diagnosed. Personally, I find the former much more productive than the later.

Treating a symptom not the cause is a common affliction in our society today yet with ASD it's imperative in my view. With something like ASD their is no treating the cause only management of the things that make you anxcious and produce the symptom of anxiety or depression. It' s the reverse in many ways to what you might think. Knowing this is often the first phase to moving forward from diagnosis.

May I be bold and suggest that i think you maybe trying to treat the cause, not manage your symptom of anxiety. Looking for 'a cure. with a condition that cannot be 'treated' in the conventional sense (a social communication disorder) is often futile. It's a lifelong neurological deficit which is pervasive. Of course you can learn the rules that govern social communication and clearly you have already to a certain extent, because you hold down a job and have gotten by.

Reading ones own signs of anxiety can often be quite difficult and our knee jerk reaction to things that make us uncomfortable is often to recoil. However, sometimes what we most need is to push ourselves outside our comfort zone and sometimes we need to recognise that a situation is too overwelming and move away. Balance is another key. We have to try and experience a multitude of things many times over to get a good gage on how we are affected, but our awareness needs to be more self-awareness focused.

I have two sons with ASD. One embraced his diagnosis and is learning to find coping strategies to sooth his anxiety and thus control his depression. The other spends his whole time consumed with wanting to be someone other than he is, which increases his anxiety. For that reason he's exhausted and also now very deeply depressed.

I always feel being high functioning can be the most cruel of afflictions. You appear that you can cope and others assume you can. Yet inside you can be desparately calling for help.

Finding ways of reducing anxiety seems to me to be the best course of action. Mindfulness, CBT, Self awareness classes, anything to raise your own awareness of why you feel a certain way and acting on those indicators will begin to reduce the anxiety and in turn lift the depression.

If we are anxious for prolonged periods we may become depressed. the more we feel depressed the more anxcious we become and before you know it you feel the depression deepening. Breaking the cycle is key.

Mindfulness for example is the practice of acknowledging ones feelings and thoughts as they come to us and if we choose, then letting them go. Great practice to break the cycle if your thoughts are stuck in a never ending circle as many with ASD are.

Each person on the spectrum reacts differently and for that reason the journey is a very personal one. What works for one, may not work for another, however once you begin to recognise your triggers, things will change and hopefully you may find the depression lifting.

I hope my rather drawn out and muddled explaination is of some help. I wish i'd been told some of this years back. Perhaps I would not have wasted so much time searching for the holy grail.

I wish you luck

Coogybear XX