Why does none of this make sense?

I've existed with depression for 17 years, medication works intermittantly, but am slowly & steadily getting worse.  There is a family history of depression, so I suspect I've got a dodgy gene somewhere.

 

Two months ago I was diagnosed as having ASD.  I've suspected this was the case for a number of years, but I seem to be finding people more & more difficult to relate to - probably as a result of the worsening depression.  I thought that getting an ASD diagnosis would mean I might be able to get some help with the "social communication" difficulties I'm having, & this might help lift the depression.  I know I will never be free of either.  However, all I seem to have got is "yes, you've got ASD, off you go & have a nice life".

 

I know I'm very lucky.  I'm still managing to work (I have to, to pay the mortgage), & I have no major issues communicating with people.  However all I can find is information along the lines of "you can deal with these issues in these ways" - but I don't really know what my issues are in any detail.  Apparently I'm supposed to feel relieved as a result of my diagnosis as now I "know I'm not alone".  This makes no sense to me - how does knowing others are suffering make me feel better?  I've tried asking the psychologist who diagnosed me & she couldn't/wouldn't explain.

The only person who seems to have benefited from the diagnosis is my psychiatrist - as I suspect that all the problems I've had with medication/therapy over the years will now be put down to "you're misinterpretting it because you have ASD".

What am I doing wrong?

Parents
  • Hi True Colours

     

    It doesn't sound cynical at all.  Unfortunately while the first part is true, the second part (admit you're having problems & you'll be offered help) doesn't seem to work in my case.  I've had CBT, which had no effect.  I've had CAT, which made things worse.  When I told my shrink this, she refused to believe me.  I've a long history of self harm (although I'm not currently, as that doesn't help either), & have made two suicide attempts.  The only thing stopping me from making a third is that I can't yet work out how to let someone know that they need to come up pick my cat up so that I'm already dead when they get there, but she won't start going hungry.  I've told therapists, & my shrink, this & I get no reaction - which is what makes me think she doesn't believe what I'm telling her.

     

    LadyNicotine

Reply
  • Hi True Colours

     

    It doesn't sound cynical at all.  Unfortunately while the first part is true, the second part (admit you're having problems & you'll be offered help) doesn't seem to work in my case.  I've had CBT, which had no effect.  I've had CAT, which made things worse.  When I told my shrink this, she refused to believe me.  I've a long history of self harm (although I'm not currently, as that doesn't help either), & have made two suicide attempts.  The only thing stopping me from making a third is that I can't yet work out how to let someone know that they need to come up pick my cat up so that I'm already dead when they get there, but she won't start going hungry.  I've told therapists, & my shrink, this & I get no reaction - which is what makes me think she doesn't believe what I'm telling her.

     

    LadyNicotine

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