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Stress and/or burnout

Hergé

Hi. I was speaking to a psychologist today and my extremely high stress levels and she mentioned that it could be autistic burnout.

My stress just doesn't dissipate, it's just like a constant background noise that I can't shift or quieten. 

I work as I have bills to pay so I can't take time off and I have an autistic son who does cause me quite a bit of stress.

How do I deal with this. I feel as if I can't wind down no matter what I try. Meds don't do it for me, CBT seems to make it worse. I exercise, don't smoke and I barely drink alcohol.

I've been told to do a stress diary, which is stressing me further.

All suggestions or calming thoughts will be gratefully accepted.

Parents

  • Sorry to hear that Herge, are you able to understand the source of your stress? Is it work? If it is you probably do need to somehow take a break from it, although it does sound like thats not possible? Is there anything you can do to try and make work less stressful, making adjustments etc? Fortunately I am on a break from work otherwise would be probably be in a similar state, I will need to make a decision about going back shortly and will need to make changes in my role and workplace etc

  • in reply to White_Dragon

    I feels as if I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

    I think the vast amount of my stress is my son, he's 24 and is "extremely resistant" to being out of his comfort zone. I think it's PDA and depression but he won't go to the GP or be assessed. I tried to get him training and work experience but he won't engage. He's an adult so even if I get him a placement, they can't discuss any difficulties with me.

    He won't discuss being autistic as he doesn't want to be seen as different, I've explained that since I'm also autistic, I know much of what he's going through.

    It's very frustrating 

Reply
  • in reply to White_Dragon

    I feels as if I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

    I think the vast amount of my stress is my son, he's 24 and is "extremely resistant" to being out of his comfort zone. I think it's PDA and depression but he won't go to the GP or be assessed. I tried to get him training and work experience but he won't engage. He's an adult so even if I get him a placement, they can't discuss any difficulties with me.

    He won't discuss being autistic as he doesn't want to be seen as different, I've explained that since I'm also autistic, I know much of what he's going through.

    It's very frustrating 

Children
  • in reply to Hergé

    I’m so sorry you’re going through so much stress right now. It’s horrible to watch anyone suffer like this but it’s worse when it’s family, and you can only sit and watch if the person you’re trying to help is not wanting that help.

    I had this similar situation with my sister who is autistic and has ADHD. At the time she was so unreceptive to the idea and wouldn’t go for an assessment, she wouldn’t talk to anybody about it. She was a little younger (20) and at college. I think someone had said r*tard because she mentioned the possibility at being autistic, and this frightened her and put her off.

    We spoke to the GP about her and that she was unhappy and stressed but reluctant to be assessed and the GP suggested we show her autism related videos and pages, so she could read up on it in her own way and time, allowing her to have the control and to explore this without any outside pressure or comments.

    This helped my sister a lot. It wasn’t a quick overnight fix but it did help her to feel better about it, she was reassured that she was normal and it did lead to her seeking a diagnosis at a later date. When she was ready she spoke to her mum but later to me, found it a comfort knowing I had ASD as well.

    I realise your son’s situation is a little different but perhaps the above might work for him as well.

    Here’s the NAS page on deciding whether to seek a diagnosis: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis/before-diagnosis/deciding-whether-to-seek-an-autism-assessment

    What happens during a diagnosis: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis/assessment-and-diagnosis/what-happens-during-an-autism-assessment

    About neurodiversity page: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/identity/autism-and-neurodiversity

    There's a lot of autism resources out there. Hopefully some of this will be helpful to you and your son. Give him time, let him explore this in his own time and way, and please take care of yourself. I know it’s stressful but as I found when I was super stressed over my sister you’ll make yourself ill if you aren’t careful.

    Look after yourself and that way when your son is ready, you will be well and able to support him when he needs you. Slight smile

  • in reply to Hergé

    Sorry Herge not sure what to suggest, hopefully wiser more experienced folks can perhaps offer something up

  • in reply to White_Dragon

    No, not that I'm aware of, he won't talk to myself,wife or younger son, he doesn't seem to have any friends in the real (not online) world. 

    Be set him up with "talking changes" but I've no idea if he goes or contacts them and obviously they won't tell me.

  • in reply to Hergé

    Ah I see that does sound very difficult and I can understand it most be a very stressful situation. Unfortunately in my experience, certainly with my kids they tend to not listen to any advice offered. Is there anybody else who can help, anybody maybe your son listens to?