Ssri’s

Really struggling for the last few days and would appreciate any advice or suggestions. 
I have been on antidepressants for 3 months now and have tried to stop taking them on a few occasions, I have not managed without them for more than 3 days. I don’t like how they make me feel when I take them as I feel very numb and just nothing I suppose,I have also lost interest in everything pretty much and don’t feel the need to enjoy the things that Used to Interest me. This is the reason why I keep trying to stop taking them but I feel so awful right now, is this withdrawal or is it my body telling me what life was like before them? I’m so confused and uncertain about what to do for the best. I wish I had never started them but I was desperate at the time.

Why is life so complicated. 

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