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Son won't go outside

AlfieMum

My 8 year old son has never been too fond of school and we have always had a struggle to get him there on the first few days of a new school year. This year (year 4) thankfully he was in the same classroom which eased him as he doesn't like change, he has been doing very well, attendance was excellent until about 4 weeks ago he started to reluctantly go to school, refuse to do school work and has become sensitive to light and noise making him not want to go in the playground, the past week he has point blank refused to go to school, not even getting dressed and he will not even leave the house, not even step outside the door, he has the curtains closed and has become violent when he has outbursts. We have ruled out bullying as he has always been open in the past when another child has upset him and it was dealt with straight away. 

He has not been diagnosed with ASD yet, although we suspect this may be the case as he has had other traits in the past but thankfully they phased out (fingers crossed this one does too) the SENCO worker is aware and has brought it to the attention of their CAHMs worker. 

I just don't know what to do, he is such a strong boy physically so it's not like I can just pick him up and get him outside or take him to school, there is nothing anyone can say or do to get him to leave the house let alone go to school. 

I dont know if it's just best to slightly ignore what he is doing hoping it just phases out, which is what we done in the past, he had a phase of constantly washing his hands to the point was making them sore, didn't make a fuss, phase passed. 

Just knowing that we are not alone would help. 

  • in reply to Zepplinsmom

    This is a similar thing that is happening with my daughter at the moment. This comment is six years old now, so I’m wondering if you found a solution?

  • Hi Zepplinsmom,

    So sorry to hear that you are struggling with your son.  If it would be helpful to speak to someone you could contact the NAS Autism Helpline:

    Advisers can talk through the different types of support and search for services in your area, if you would like to call.

    The Helpline is open Monday to Thursday 10am – 4pm and Friday 9am -3pm on 0808 800 4104.

    Please see the following link for further information:

    http://www.autism.org.uk/services/helplines/main/contact.aspx


    I hope that is of some help.

    Kerri-Mod

  • I know this feed is old, but I'm so desperate I'm having the same exact problem with my son he's 10 and refuses to go to school. He will not go anyplace. I've lost my job , because he won't stay with anyone. And he won't leave the house . he also will not shower at all or talk to anyone except for me and one sister. 

    He won't go to counseling or to the Dr. He won't sleep at night and stays awake until 11 or 12 the following day. 

    All food taste "weird" or old to him. 

    I'm so sad about this , because my son Zepplin went from being extremely active and interactive with friends and in sports at school to being profoundly anxious and basically agorophobic in a matter of a couple of weeks. He has been out of school now for 5months. 

    I'm wondering if you ever found anything helpful for your child. 

  • I don't know the solution, but clearly your son is anxious for some reason and until his needs can be met in school he may continue this behaviour.  Obviously cover yourself by keeping the EWO informed, if possible video some of his behaviour and continue to liaise with the SENCo to get it resolved or at least to show you have done your level best.

    It's so sad, I firmly believe inclusion doesn't work for most autistic children, and yet here they are continuing with it regardless, whilst not meeting children's needs at the same time, yet judging parents who are the ones often ending up dealing with the problem.

  • Hi

    I'm not sure I can offer you any advice but wanted to let you know you are not alone.  My daughter started to refuse to go to school in November which resulted in a mini break down at my final attempt.  I feel bad now that I sent her in before that when she was desperately crying out for help. She is very light and noise sensitive and can't cope with the huge high school.  She is so much happier at home now and her violent outbursts stopped as soon as I stopped making her go.  Unfortunately, I now worry aobut her education!

    I think your starting point needs to be your GP and be open with school to see what they can suggest or put in place for the time being.