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Could my son have ASD

tjacksonpfc

Hi all im new here i found this group after doing some internet searches.

I'm confused about my son and wether he possibly has ASD. He is 8 years old an oct birthday so one of the oldest in his class. He is very bright currently working 2 years aboie his age and very articulate with his speech.  

However this is where the problems not start in school he is a model pupil, however teh second he walks out of school its like a release valve goes off in him and we have full scale melt downs. These can last just for the 10 minute journey home or for a good 1hr+. They normally result in lots of screaming shouting door slamming, anything can set them off ive only got to ask him if he had a good day today or to put his school clothes away.

He is obsessive with things currently a game hes been playing on the laptop he talks about nothing else from the moment he gets up till he goes to bed. If we tell him he can't play it we get another melt down. Right from a babay hes never slept for long he never sleeps on a car journey and we are quite often travelling from one end of teh country to another. The most he will sleep for at night is 6 hours and thats very rarely. 

He has a fixation with food he would eat 24/7 given the chance and can't cope if dinners a bit late for what ever reason. He still wears pull ups at night at 5/7 he still wets the bed.

For the last 12 months hes refused ot give any family members a cuddle or kiss when we leave the house. He does Taekwon-do which he enjoys but it takes him for ever to remember teh sequence of moves they have to learn so much so hes been there 4 years and only gone up 1 belt. He also does football but doesnt seem to fit in with the team even though he enjoys it. He can't seem to comprehend that other peopl in teh tem have a diffrent opinion to him and if hes asked to try something new we immediatly get tears as its to hard for him but he hasnt even tried it.

I am for ever telling him to take things out of his mouth such as his zips on his coat teh straps on his back pack hsi sleeve what ever he can put in his mouth he will. 

Im sorry for the long post but at my wits end now. Thank in advance for any advice.

  • funmum said:
    Hi - I agree with Crystal but with reservations. Having initiated a diagnosis for my son and met many others whose kids are diagnosed but behave well at school, it is good to get the school onside and talk to them about the situation at home and what is going on at school. If he is compliant at school he may not get any help. My son has recently had an assessment and they said it is not ASD but anxiety and that he needs firmer parenting to sort out the problems at home. I know that my son is finding school stressful and hard to fit in but it mostly only comes out at home.

    So I would ask for an assessment and also try to talk to school about what is going on there. In my son's case, there were many isolated incidents that were not recognised as a pattern of behaviour. He did not get on well with his classmates despite his wish to make friends and would sometimes lash out when provoked and even shout at teachers. As he was always really sorry and ashamed afterwards, the school did not go into the underlying problems.

    Schools often don't recognise the nature of the problem.  They aren't ASC trained or even ASC aware, so a parent should never be put off by doubtful feedback from the school.  Please see the stickied thread about different behaviour between school and home - it is a well-known behaviour.

    Many high-functioning children are compliant at school, but they are suffering internally with very high anxiety and lack of understanding at school exacerbates this hugely.  The root of the anxiety needs addressing not just naming it as anxiety.

    My children are both high-functioning and well-behaved at school, but both have statements of SEN.  You can apply yourself to the council and you don't need the school's agreement on the nature of the issues.

    I would get video evidence, keep a daily diary, record it all.  It will be invaluable if you hit a wall of professional doubt.  Schools will often, like other professionals, take the blaming the parent tactic first and accuse your parenting.  Don't let yourself be fobbed off or misjudged.

  • Hi - I agree with Crystal but with reservations. Having initiated a diagnosis for my son and met many others whose kids are diagnosed but behave well at school, it is good to get the school onside and talk to them about the situation at home and what is going on at school. If he is compliant at school he may not get any help. My son has recently had an assessment and they said it is not ASD but anxiety and that he needs firmer parenting to sort out the problems at home. I know that my son is finding school stressful and hard to fit in but it mostly only comes out at home.

    So I would ask for an assessment and also try to talk to school about what is going on there. In my son's case, there were many isolated incidents that were not recognised as a pattern of behaviour. He did not get on well with his classmates despite his wish to make friends and would sometimes lash out when provoked and even shout at teachers. As he was always really sorry and ashamed afterwards, the school did not go into the underlying problems.

  • Hi - welcome to the site Smile.  The behaviours you mention could point to autism, but as you know, none of us on here can diagnose.  As you're concerned I think you should ask for an assessment.  There a lots of posts here which you've probably read about behaviours and also the assessment process.  If he is autistic then it's best to get a diagnosis asap so he can be given the support he needs.  Come back any time, ask anything you want.