Regulating Sound - Earbuds, Headphones, Loops , etc

I am looking for suggestions for potential solutions to one of my biggest triggers - SOUND.

I am usually ok with loud sounds such as music, aircraft (eg at an air show), concerts and the like....just as long as I am expecting / aware of the high volumes.
Certain sounds such as children screaming / shouting, sudden unexpected sound, high frequency sound are what I struggle with.

I have a pair of Engage Loop ear plugs that I wear at times, such as in the supermarket, but they are not perfect.
Having conversations whilst wearing them can be difficult as it is difficult to hear the person that I am talking with, plus my own voice is amplified internally although externally I heed to talk louder. I find that loop earplugs can irritate my ears, especially if worn for long periods. I have used earbuds for listening to music in the gym, but they also irritate my ears so I now tend to use headphones instead. 

I recently had a meltdown / non epileptic seizure during a Yoga class of all places!
What happened is we were near the end of the class during which we practice relaxation. The gym have been having problems with the sound system and on this occasion the supposed relaxing music was way too loud. I tried to get the attention of the instructor (failed), covered my ears, but it was still too much and I just lost it. Not a pleasant experience for me or the others in the class as I was laying there having a massive seizure and nobody knew what was happening or what t do.

So, I'm wondering if anyone has any suggestions for me.
What I am looking for is a solution whereby I can

  • Maintain a noise / volume level - anything that is louder than the set level will be quietened to the desire level
  • Reduce certain frequencies (high / mid-high)
  • Engage in clear conversations with others
  • Reduce / cut out other sounds or back ground noise so that I can truly focus on what I am trying to hear (I can struggle with hearing due to tinnitus which can get quite bad at times) 
  • I haven't looked into hearing aids, but suspect that they would be a problem for me if they are worn "in ear" and I imagine that you have to wear them all day
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