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Son undergoing assessment, I'm now wondering about myself...

KateB84

Hello All,

I'm new here, sorry If I've posted In the wrong place. My son (who Is 4) Is starting at assessment nursery next week, I'm not really sure they'll make a decision for him yet, they seem a little on the fence, but over the past year I've been thinking about myself and If his problems are somehow inherited from me, even though they are very different, I don't know If this is possible? I have three children but only my 4 year old has problems. I hate going to see the GP for myself, because I'm sure they are going to laugh at me or tell me I'm being stupid, so I have never spoken to anyone other than my husband about this...I'm very imaginative, In fact I'd rather live In my imagination than the real world but I don't have a single 'non-online' friend at the moment and I rarely have (with the exception of my husband and ex partners, If you count them!). I might have 'people I know' but I never know how to move that forward to friendship, I don't understand other women, I find them so complicated I can't tell If they like me or not, I don't know how to explain It lol I find men a bit less complex and so I'm more relaxed around them, but as a mother I'm expected to be friends with other mums and I've tried so hard but I just can't do it, I'm not shy at all, I just think I come across as disinterested or weird, so I have resigned myself to being friendless, It's got to the point where It seems like too much work because i just can't be myself. I have always planned conversations with people in advance, I've sort of come to realise this isn't 'normal' but I'm just not spontaneous. I much prefer the internet for conversation and I find It so easy to talk to people on there but In real life my mind goes blank If I haven't planned what I'm going to say In advance. At school the teachers thought I might be dyslexic because I really struggled, but my mum wouldn't hear of it. I always suffered from bouts of depressions and anxiety (but again I've never seen a GP!) as a teenager I put that down to always being on my own, my mum was a single working mum and I hardly having any friends. I guess now I'm almost 30 I'm wondering If there is actually a reason I'm the way I am... maybe I'm looking for an easy answer rather than accepting I'm just weird lol I don't really expect an answer here but I had to write It down somewhere! I don't think I could say this to a gp :-/ I guess I would like to know If anyone has ever been in a similar situation?

Thank you x

Parents

  • I've gone through a similar experience myself last year until the coincidences of being like by son couldn't be explained away. For me finding this forum has turned my life around as I have found many people that think in a similar way or have similar problems and even enjoy similar things. One of the most encouraging things is that every one here is different so, guess what, you can just be yourself. That is so special after years of feeling you're odd or don't fit in. The best way I've found to describe it is it is like coming home to your family.

    As far as seeing your Doc, it would be good but don't expect too much. I wish now I had written down what I wanted to say in a letter and sent it to him to read in advance of our appointment. You (like many other folks here) write with great clarity and I suspect that may be a great asset when meeting the Doc. (I turn into a jibbering idiot as soon as I step into the room.) My Docs view was that it was probably depression/anxiety related but over the last few months I've worked through this argument and just don't believe it. Depression is basically a squashing of your mental being but the traits of aspergers are basically who you are. Both can be painful but one of them is part of you and the other isn't (that not always easy to see in the thick of it).

    There's a really good topic running on the forum about positives and negatives which may put a different perspective on the situation than you might expect.

    Whether you are or aren't you're very welcome just as you are.

    Dunk

Reply

  • I've gone through a similar experience myself last year until the coincidences of being like by son couldn't be explained away. For me finding this forum has turned my life around as I have found many people that think in a similar way or have similar problems and even enjoy similar things. One of the most encouraging things is that every one here is different so, guess what, you can just be yourself. That is so special after years of feeling you're odd or don't fit in. The best way I've found to describe it is it is like coming home to your family.

    As far as seeing your Doc, it would be good but don't expect too much. I wish now I had written down what I wanted to say in a letter and sent it to him to read in advance of our appointment. You (like many other folks here) write with great clarity and I suspect that may be a great asset when meeting the Doc. (I turn into a jibbering idiot as soon as I step into the room.) My Docs view was that it was probably depression/anxiety related but over the last few months I've worked through this argument and just don't believe it. Depression is basically a squashing of your mental being but the traits of aspergers are basically who you are. Both can be painful but one of them is part of you and the other isn't (that not always easy to see in the thick of it).

    There's a really good topic running on the forum about positives and negatives which may put a different perspective on the situation than you might expect.

    Whether you are or aren't you're very welcome just as you are.

    Dunk

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