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Feeling Confused

donnamac

Hope someone can help me, sorry if its a long post. 

My daughter, in my opinion, has showed signs of Aspergers since a young age but everytime she gets seen by a professional or other, they say there is nothing wrong.  She is 5 years old now and I have kept pushing resulting in Autism Outreach coming to school to assess her.  They observed her twice in class and also 5 times she was seen in a small group of 4.  The first time she was observed, the teacher told me that Autism Outreach had already noticed that she thrived on her routine, had a lack of expression, and was fairly intelligent.  Now the assessment is over and the teacher has told me they think everything is fine because she has managed fine in different areas.   Autism outreach didnt once contact me even though the teacher told them my daughters behaviour could be quite different at home compared to school.

The main thing with her is her lack of social skills, she loves to be with other kids, but just doesnt seem to be able to get herself into conversation with them unless they speak to her.  It seems to be a case of she answers them if they speak to her.  She does tag along and join in games.  Also if someone speaks to her that she isnt totally comfortable with i always have to answer for her.   The teacher says she is very quiet but seems to be improving a little and that she doesnt show much expression.

She is a very well behaved girl and school and in front of others and is very quiet.  She isnt actually badly behaved at home but her emotions often get the better of her.

She loves her routine but isnt overly distressed when it is changed.

She can get quite distressed over silly things eg. she wanted a different fork, or she wanted her toast cut a certain way (these things change all the time, never stay the same).

Tends to pick up a lot of the sayings her older sister says.

Gets really annoyed by her older sister most of the time.  Cant seem to tolerate her much.

Socks, tights etc really annoy her.  Sometimes she has to change them as many times before they are right, then other times they dont seem to bother her at all.

Has eye contact but if she has something specific to tell you then she tends to speak with her head down and mumbles really quietly.

Picky with food.  Doesnt bother if things touch or anything like that, but doesnt like fruit if its juicy cause she thinks its dirty, always asks for cereal but never eats it, wont eat yoghurts if theyve got bits in, her cheese has to be cold etc.

Does it sound as if there could be issues or does anyone think I am just looking too much into things.  Still convinced there is something going on and my instinct tells me there is but had so many people tell me different that im not sure whether it is time to let go or not.

Thank you for any help or advice you can give.

  • I had a lot of problems when I was younger, but my mum and dad divorced when I was about 2 years old, when all these symptoms for me appeared, so everyone blamed it on that.  I was just called a dreamer and shy at times, but had no problems interacting in the classrom because to me that was structured socialising, asking and answering questions etc.  It was mainly outside school, the unstructured world, where I played up.  I would only eat certain foods, not wear certain clothes, not like certain noises, smells, etc.  I was just called picky and annoying.  I started getting worse when I moved house and schools because I was bullied and it was a new environment.  I was seeing a behaviour psychiatrist but they just put everything down to being shy and the bullying.

    Mum knows best I say.  My mum fought tirelessly with schools to get help and support for the bullying (because there was no way anything thought I was autistic) and even when they thought I was maybe dyslexic I was tested and told I was just borderline so I was never given help, my mum still fought.  She kept me going to the psychiatrist for most of my young life, which at the time I sometimes dreaded but it was very important to get my thoughts out to someone.  Just keep an eye on things and never give up.  They may not think she needs support now but it may become more evident over time.  Because we don't have 'movie standard' autism it doesn't mean we are not affected by it.  School time was not a good experience for me, I wouldn't want anyone to suffer the way I did.

  • Hi, your daughter sounds just like my 8 year old. I have thought for many many years there is something not quite right!  Yet at school when I mention it they just say she is maybe a bit quiet, but a well behaved girl.

    At home she is a complete nightmare, has absolutley no compassion or empathy, she annoys her sisters as everything has to be her way.  She never listens to me, I have to make sure she is looking at me if I want to make sure she understands what I am saying.  Food, well its a nightmare trying to feed her, she can even tell if I change brand of margarine, "it tastes funny" ??  Cheese lol she hates it but will eat it if its melted like on pizza or toast? I don't know.  Clothes, either to tight or to itchy etc.

    Anyways umm yes no advice really, I just saw no one had replied yet and wanted to let you know your not alone, pretty much everything you wrote applies to my daughter too, but no one sees it at school, only us at home.

    I was actually on this forum as my 3 year old has just been diagnosed ASD (I also have a 17 year old daughter diagnosed) so I kinda know the signs, but no one seems to listen when I explain about my 8 year old, as when she is at school they can't see any problems.

    Sorry I'm not much help, the only thing I can suggest is take her to the doctors and try and get a referral, though I tried that with my 8 year old and didn't get anywhere as he refrered her to mental health and they said she should have been referred to a peadatrician, then I never heard back from anyone :-/