not sure where to go next

its so comforting to come on here and know its not just me.....keep me updated ginger gnome and i will do the same through this...thinking of you all too hope you get it sorted soon....it is so frustrating to know that your child has difficulties but having to leave it all in one persons hands to decide...ive tried to relax about it lately and bide my time till september but its hard especially when hes having a major meltdown and i can't do anything to control it...i hate seeing my son so upset and angry and not know what it is that is upsetting him half the time

please keep in contact and we can go through this rubbish time together  

We're kind of in a similar situation George's Mum ... my MS is 5 and has been going through the assessment process for about two years.  My husband & I both believe that our son either has Aspergers or HFA but as he suffered a trauma three years ago there's some concern that his traits could be connected to that (he also has an older brother with ASD/ADHD).

Our paediatrician referred us to a psychiatrist who wasn't willing to commit to any dx and now we kind of feel that we're at a brick wall.  We're biding our time will we see the consultant again and then will push for another assessment.

We also got given the option of a parenting course which made me feel as you described ... as if this was all because of something that we'd done ... as it worked out, the course didn't happen for us anyway.

It's so hard ... as parents we only want what's best for our children and knowing when to push for a dx or not is so hard :-(

Thinking of you, GG

thankyou for the comments....Oatcakes im glad im not the only one going through this dreadfully frustrating time coz it sometimes feels as if i am....ive got to wait till september when my son goes back to school and then ring the child dev clinic as they said they will do nothing before then unfortunately...good luck with your little lad keep me updated and i will keep everyone updated on here with my little mans progress.  thanks again everyone

Hi George's Mum

I am sorry to read that you are having such a hard time getting a diagnosis.  I have put a link below to the NAS advise on getting a diagnosis.

http://www.autism.org.uk/about-autism/all-about-diagnosis/diagnosis-the-process-for-children/diagnosis-what-to-expect.aspx

I can appreciate that it is a difficult time for everyone but from personal experience I have to say that the louder you shout the more help and assistance you will be given. If you don't question the professionals and stand your ground, I am afraid that they will move on to someone else.  It is not usually the case that they don't care or they think you are wrong rather than they do not have the resources to provide the help that you need.  

I hope this helps

ColinCat 

I just wanted to say I understand how you feel..my son is the same age and we are having the same problem...you are not alone and it's is utterly frustrating.

Keep at it you'll win in the end.

x

thankyou for your comments both are extremely helpful....i did think he could be aspergers as my nephew has aspergers and my other nephew is autistic...i feel as though im banging my head against a brick wall.  the doctor is not interested in what i have to say and also several reports from different proffesionals that back my claims up...shes only interested in text book jargon and because he doesnt tick all the right boxes she seems completely baffled.   i think they believe he is going to go to year one and this miracalous change is going to happen.  my son attended toddler group from 6 months old, then nursery and now full time school and there has only been a very slight change to his social skills in that he now has 2 friends instead of none..but when it comes to mixing with other children apart from hes 2 friends he has a complete heart attack and can not cope.   i will look at that book for me and my son to share thankyou....i just feel as though im doing all the therapy myself with him that a proffessional should be doing to help him

From what you describe it sounds more like aspergers than HFA (although obviously much more info is needed for accurate diagnosis). Tantrums and stress over small things could come from sensory overload. I would suggest the most helpful thing would be to familiarise yourself with the wide range of perspectives on autism/aspergers.

'Autism and Aspergers: The Facts' by Simon Baron-Cohen is the best book I've seen to cover this without being too difficult/long-winded/etc.  You may also find 'Asperger Syndrome, the Universe and Everything' by Kenneth Hall to be a useful book, the author is a only a few years older than your son and gives some perspective on what the world is like from the perspective of a child with aspergers. It may even be worth reading throught it with your son and seeing if any of Kenneths experiences sound familiar to him.

If your son doesn't interact when being assessed then it may be worth trying to get him assessed at home where he is likely to be more comfortable in his environment and therefore more socially forthcoming. Given it sounds like a complex problem it may be worth giving the NAS helpline a call: www.autism.org.uk/.../Autism-Helpline.aspx

Finally it is worth noting that the cause(s) of autism/aspergers are genetic and environmental, parenting style was ruled out as a cause many years ago so rest assured it is not your fault.  

Hope this helps