I've come here to vent more then anything, I know there's little anyone can do to help, but it would be nice to air out some concerns and have an outsiders opinion. I can't talk to my family about my concerns because they wouldn't understand. I took the test someone posted up on a sticky and it came to 8 (over 6 meaning considered for referral) and I also took another online test found linked from the embarrassing bodies website and on that I got 33 and over 32 means possibly autism spectrum
I do struggle with social situations, ive always found it difficult and Ive learned to smile and nod in the right places most of the time but that can backfire. I can't talk in groups very easily and conversation can be difficult when just talking to one person. I think I talk about things others arent interested in and pick up on things they don't notice (and again have no interest in) I have to really make a conscious effort to stop myself from coming out with facts about a topic during a conversation because I don't think I'm supposed to. Then there's things like at work, I try to remember to say hello to my co-workers but I often forget and don't know if I come off rude, same with saying goodbye to them too, I only say it in response if they say it to me. I also don't know what to say in certain situations for example a friend at work hurt her foot and I tried to be sympathetic as I know I'm supposed to and said "oh no" or sometching like that and she came back at me with "you couldn't be more sarcastic there could you" I then explained that I wasn't being sarcastic and I do care, but I don't always know how to express it.
I don't like doctors and I make a point of avoiding them at all costs and I couldn't go to him with this issue because I feel too embarrassed, it's probably nothing anyway and he'll think I'm an idiot. I sort of think, I am who I am and knowing can't change that and I've gone 27 years being who I am so I'll just have to deal with it. But it did cause problems in my last job and I ended up losing my job and then my flat and having to move back home to my parents house. That was mostly because the chef at the restaurant where I worked washing dishes at the time didn't like it when I was quiet and if I forgot to greet him or didnt join in the conversations, he thought I was in a mood when i wasn't I just didn't have anything to say, and then after time with him bullying me I developed a bit of an attitude with him when he was nasty to me and he didn't like it. The other problem it's causing is I'm 27 and never had a proper boyfriend because I just don't know how to talk to people, it gets me down and i get depressed but then when I think about it, I couldn't imagine having someons else in my space and not being able to do what I want all the time. its a difficult one and it would be good for me to know why I am the way I am, but I don't think I can fight to find it out and I know it would be a fight for it.
What's the general view of being diagnosed as an adult, do people think it's worth it or is self diagnosis enough (I cope in life anyway so I wouldn't get any help from the doctors either way)
