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worried for 20 year olds sons safety

cazzy

Hi , my 20 year old son is living in assisted accomodation and has recently moved from a communal house to a flat of his own. This at first seemed great and he loved the independance of it , now though i am fighting to get him back into the communal house as since he has lived there people that my son has met walking into town and from facebook ( god i hate facebook !) who he thinks are his friends have been using his flat like a doss house , even bringing girls back to sleep with in my sons bed ! I have of course spoke to his support but its happening when they aren,t there , i have thrown a couple out when i turned up early one morning .The police have finally been involved as he has had tv, playstation, wallet and 2 phones stolen also his key , which we later found out that he had given to someone as "they are my friends and they needed somewhere to sleep ", my fear for him is that these friends who are basicially not very nice people ( being polite ) and known to the police as petty criminals and drug users will get him involved in all sorts ! im at the end of my tether i cant sleep , im in tears as i write this , i have obviously spoke to my son who is adament that he ok and the more i try to talk to him about it he gets aggressive . He also is addicted to talking to girls on facebook which is becoming a problem as he sent lewd messages to a 15yr old. He is out of his flat from 7 in the morning till 11 at night sometimes later , phone switched off. Any advice or comments greatly recieved thanks Caz

 

  • Hi - you must be worried sick all the time.  Depending on how things develop you may wish to contact social services in relation to Safeguarding. As you know, he is in danger and is a vulnerable adult.   Has your son been assessed relating to mental capacity?  I'm presuming his social worker is involved so should be able to inform you of both the points I've made above, altho of course you may know about them already.  Social services presumably thought your son, after an assessment, could live in a flat with this level of support allocated to him, which has obviously been proven to be wrong.  Therefore they need to reassess at the very least so that he can get the support he needs.  I hope you can get things sorted out soon for all your sakes.

  • Perhaps you should show him this:

    http://www.theguardian.com/society/2010/sep/14/learning-disabilities-mate-crime

    And explain to him, that many people out there will pretend to be nice, because they understand he is a good, kind-hearted guy and they will take advantage of him.  Explain that people aren't always what they seem.  He is straightforward and says what he means, but they don't.  That his desire to be popular and have friends, means that he can be lulled into a false sense of security because he doesn't want to be alone.  Tell him that they are using him.  Explain to him, that it's sad, and it's awful to know that people like that are out there, but they are.  Point out to him that he has had things stolen and real friends wouldn't do that.

    In the meantime, I would carry on doing what you can to get him back into supported accommodation.

    Maybe also you can get a befriender for him through the NAS so when he goes out he is accompanied and cannot be waylaid by these wastes of space.  You could also contact social services for more support.