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Struggling with my mental health and I’m to needy with my boyfriend

Rach91

Hi my name is Rachel and I have Asperger’s I am really having a hard time at the moment. My mum died 2 years ago and my dad has met someone else and he moved to Scotland to live with her and they are getting married. My mental health has plummeted and i have reached rock bottom. I am dating a guy who also has Asperger and most of the time it’s amazing there a real spark there and I absolutely adore him. My mental health is so bad it has put a huge strain on our relationship and we have been arguing like cat and dog. I try to go to him for comfort but he can’t always provide it and then I get desperate and needy. I really don’t know how to break this I just want to be happy again I just want to pass university get a good job with children with autism but I’m terrified I’m going to fail. 

Parents

  • Hi Rachel. I'm glad you were able to open up on here and I'm really sorry you are having such a hard time. 

    Mental health problems and changes in our lives can cause huge strains on our relationships. I struggled with being very needy with girlfriends in the past, I always felt I needed them more than they needed me if that makes sense. 

    I did learn to dial down the neediness a bit but I guess when I met my wife it wasn't an issue as she was able to provide what I needed and I could provide what she needed. 

    If your boyfriend has asperges too it may be just that he needs his space and quiet time sometimes, it doesn't mean he loves you any less. Just take a step back from the situation and remind yourselves why you love each other. It is so easy to lose sight of that amongst the problems of life. 

    Don't put too much pressure on yourself about university. It will be amazing if you pass but you will be ok even if you don't. I had a relatively successful career teaching special needs children without ever going to university

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  • Hi Rachel. I'm glad you were able to open up on here and I'm really sorry you are having such a hard time. 

    Mental health problems and changes in our lives can cause huge strains on our relationships. I struggled with being very needy with girlfriends in the past, I always felt I needed them more than they needed me if that makes sense. 

    I did learn to dial down the neediness a bit but I guess when I met my wife it wasn't an issue as she was able to provide what I needed and I could provide what she needed. 

    If your boyfriend has asperges too it may be just that he needs his space and quiet time sometimes, it doesn't mean he loves you any less. Just take a step back from the situation and remind yourselves why you love each other. It is so easy to lose sight of that amongst the problems of life. 

    Don't put too much pressure on yourself about university. It will be amazing if you pass but you will be ok even if you don't. I had a relatively successful career teaching special needs children without ever going to university

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