For parents of autistic children - how old were they when you first noticed the signs?

My son is 2 and a half, 3 in June of this year. He started nursery in September in the nursery inside my college. For the first two months all the nursery staff ever said was how clever he is, how friendly and pleasant he is, how well he gets on with the other children especially the older ones as the nursery room holds children from 18 months to 4 years.

Then in December they out of nowhere said they think he has autism and hearing problems and would like my permission to apply for funding, which they got the maximum funding for the lady's words were "we actually got the maximum amount which was cheeky to ask for but if you dont ask you dont get". Their reasons for suspecting he has autism is because he Knows his alphabet, you can write any letter and he'll tell you what it is, he knows his numbers up to 15 sometimes to 20 when he feels like it, knows his shapes including pentagon and oval, his colours and his animals and he's quite advanced in communicating. Aswell as this they said he doesn't like stopping activities like painting to wash his hands which "alerted" them. They also mentioned an incident where an older girl was following him around trying to play house with him and kept stroking his face, but my son told her to "go away". They said this is an indicator of him wanting his own space and an indicator of autism.

I have went along with everything they have said with an open mind, my son's half brother was diagnosed at aged 8 with depression and autism so there is a genetic component to. I'm just wondering if anybody thinks this sounds like autism? The nursery told me they would have someone come in to work one on one with my son, 3 hours a day 3 times a week to assess him, but they keep saying they'll start in december, now they're starting in january and now they've said it wont be until after March. 

As for his hearing problems he can hear you open a packet of crisp from a mile away and you could whisper chocolate from a different room and he'll hear you. He has a hearing assessment on the 1st of Feb. 

thanks for reading

at 18 months i found that something was not right .. simply because he loved climbing all over me over and over again plus no eye contact ... no words ..tiny bit of babling and not playing with stuff for long

Thank you everyone for your comments.  My son has been seen by the GP and has now been referred to community paediatrics, and is still on the rather long waiting list to see a speech and language therapist.  I'm so happy that someone is finally listening to me.  I take my son to toddler groups twice a week and social services still reckon that's the reason he hasn't developed any social skills - I should be taking him three times a week or more apparently.  Like that's going to make any difference!

I'm hoping I can access some local support groups and I guess I just want to find out how to make life easier for my little boy, it only takes something tiny to distress him a lot - moving his purple block to the other side of his red one is enough to start a tantrum.  Hopefully now the ball is rolling we will have a diagnosis in the coming months.

After he had that he lost all his alphabet that he had learned he had a fever and regressed thats when he was 2

It was the Health Visitor who noticed my son was Asperger Syndrome, I didnt realise, I thought all the spinning flapping and running was just because he was healthy, and I thought the obsessions were normal probably because I have Asperger Syndrome as well so I didnt realise it wasn't normal, he was almost 5 when he was diagnosed.

I have 2 children with Autism. My son was not diagnosed until he was around 5, due mainly to him having hearing / ear problems and the fact that there was no one specialised in our area to diagnose him. My daughter was around 2 1/2 but I knew a few weeks after her second mmr. Both children were intolerant to baby milk, had colic and suffered ear infections (leading to grommets for glue ear). Both had anti biotics very early on. My son was very difficult and didnt sleep much for the first 2 years, didnt talk until he was 4 after his grommets inserted. wheras my daughter was a joy and appeared to be funtioning 'normal' until she became ill with a bad ear infection/ mmr at 20 months, then stopped talking and giving eye contact (hasnt spoken since)

Hi Eliza. My son was diagnosed with ASD, middle of the spectrum, severe anxiety and SPD in August this year. He was 2years and 10 months on the day he was diagnosed. I was convinced that due to his age he would not be diagnosed (i also posted in this forum about bring diagnosed at a young age). I hope this can bring you some hope in getting your son diagnosed. 

Kelly x

Tell children's services to go and read about autism.  They make me mad.  How do they think you have an older daughter who is fine if it's poor parenting!  It would take a lot more than poor parenting to make a child have autism-like behaviours, it would take awful abuse.

Tell them that your child has high risk for autism because you have AS yourself.  Because of this health professionals should be on high alert as your son has already shown all these signs.  From what you say, my hunch is that it's highly likely he is autistic.  There are things you describe that either one of my daughters did at a young age.

I have AS and both my children are on the spectrum.

If you haven't already, go officially to your GP and request referral specifically for ASC assessment.  Yes it is possible to get a diagnosis that young, although they may call it ASC/D rather than a specific disorder like AS because of his age.

Ignore your family, you know your own child and follow your instincts.

I first noticed signs in my son between when he was between 1 -1.5 years old. He had words but they weren't your usual first words. It was names of numbers and letters and odd words like toilet (he liked toilets a lot!). He was late pointing and only did it when I taught him hand over hand with books. For a good year after he would only point to things in books and nowhere else. He also had a lot of trouble with transitioning eg he wouldn't get down from his high chair until he was ready even after he's finished eating he would sit there for some time and be upset if we tried to lift him. He also had poor eye contact and his lack of responding had caused us to question his hearing. And he absolutely loved spinning wheels on anything. They were the early signs anyway but obviously as he got older his lack of interaction with other kids was a concern.

I first saw the paed when he was 2 and they adopted a 'wait and see approach' (whilst heavily implying that me only going to toddler group once a week was the cause despite him having a sibling and an otherwise active social schedule!). We went on the waiting list for speech and by the time he was seen his speech was age appropriate in quantity if slightly unusual in content. Speech referred us to the asd pathway and after many months/observations he was diagnosed at 3.5 years old.

I do have a friend whose son was diagnosed at 2 though so it can be done.

Your boy certainly seems to have a lot of traits of asd. What have the professionals said? Have they dismissed your concerns entirely or does he have follow up appointments?

I don't know about your experience but I felt that health visitors were not the most knowledgeable about asd and tend to reassure rather than act. It was my gp and sen worker at the local childrens centre who were most helpful in terms of referrals etc.

In terms of support I would have a search and see if there are any support groups in your area - not all require your child to have a diagnosis. Childrens centres tend to have groups on for kids with social communication difficulties and parent support groups. We also go to an asd training session once a week at a childrens centre which is open to parents of all children pre and post diagnosis. If there are any groups like this near you I really recommend going as they are a great source of information about other support that is available locally.

Hi - in theory it shd be easily possible to get a diagnosis of autism for a child between 2-3 yrs old.  That was when my son was diagnosed in the late 80s.  Some of it will depend on where you live as it's still a postcode lottery, also government cuts to the nhs and local government (inc social services) means things can be slower.  My son also screamed when he was a baby + it was diagnosed as colic.  I didn't know anything about autism, apart from having heard the word.  But, I did know something was different + I remember exactly when it happened.  3 wks old.  Everything appeard to change + the screaming started but I cdn't work out why - hence the Dr prescribed colic med.  Didn't change a thing.  Looking back, bearing in mind what I know now, I think it was his autism asserting itself.  Even at that age he wanted to be held a certain way, fed a certain way etc.  He was late to talk (5 yrs) but cd understand single words + short phrases.  He remembered the ones that were useful, that interested him.  He was never a fussy eater but only ate a certain number of foods at home, but ate other meals at other places.  Also he was the easiest toddler to potty train.  He didin't point (wd use my finger), didn't wave, lined or stacked things up, got v upset if someone changed his lining/stacking.  He was + still is a practical person so he wd find practical ways to show you what he wanted such as taking you to something.  Even before he cd crawl he wd hold his arms out to be picked up + then wd push his body in a certain direction so I wd carry him to what he wanted.  He liked clapping + didn't self harm but cd have meltdowns.  He has always had a good sense of humour.  He cd write single words before he cd speak.  Everyone's different + develops at their own rate, whether autistic or not.  I don't know if your son has a visual timetable, set routine?  I don't know which professionals you've approached so maybe you've done this already, but ask your gp to refer you to a paediatrician, making sure they know that you also are autistic as there's a genetic component to autism.  Good luck with everything.  Other posts will be along soon.