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I've been so stupid. I just need to tell it

Dogtooth

So firstly I don't want sympathy or kind words. I'm not fishing. I just need to get this in the open so it's not bottled up. 

I'm alone this weekend for the first time in a while. I've managed to properly screw it all up. 

Firstly I upset my boss yesterday and I didn't need to. I was thoughtless and now she isn't replying to me. She is one of my best friends. I should have put her first. 

Then the anxiety kicked in. I'm not gonna give details but I made the worst decision ever. I spent all night taking narcotics. I haven't slept at all. 

I'm now drinking red wine feeling like a total tool. Why do I keep going round this track. 

The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over expecting a different result. 

OK. Thats me done. I've told it. At least I've told it. 

Parents

  • I'm sorry you're in such a bad place right now.

    If the darkness tells you otherwise I'm here to tell you

    You matter.

    You are loved.

    You deserve to be supported.

    If you feel you don't that's the darkness and booze talking. Don't let it win.

    This is a setback but you can get over it.

    You will get over it.

    I've been there in those dark moments it isn't pleasant but it isn't forever.

    X

  • in reply to Destiny

    I really wasn't here for kindness. I genuinely was just admitting my wrongs. My autistic family never ceases to amaze how accepting they are of peoples faults. 

    I'm not ashamed to say the love I've received today has made me misty eyed.

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