I've been so stupid. I just need to tell it

So firstly I don't want sympathy or kind words. I'm not fishing. I just need to get this in the open so it's not bottled up. 

I'm alone this weekend for the first time in a while. I've managed to properly screw it all up. 

Firstly I upset my boss yesterday and I didn't need to. I was thoughtless and now she isn't replying to me. She is one of my best friends. I should have put her first. 

Then the anxiety kicked in. I'm not gonna give details but I made the worst decision ever. I spent all night taking narcotics. I haven't slept at all. 

I'm now drinking red wine feeling like a total tool. Why do I keep going round this track. 

The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over expecting a different result. 

OK. Thats me done. I've told it. At least I've told it. 

Parents
  • The fact that you feel bad about upsetting your boss is a sign that you're not the bad person you think you are. If you were, you wouldn't have any regrets- but you do, because you care about her and you care about doing the right thing.

    We all make mistakes sometimes, even really big ones. It's part of being human, unfortunately. What matters is how you respond to them. You seem like a person who cares about their effect on others and that's really important.

Reply
  • The fact that you feel bad about upsetting your boss is a sign that you're not the bad person you think you are. If you were, you wouldn't have any regrets- but you do, because you care about her and you care about doing the right thing.

    We all make mistakes sometimes, even really big ones. It's part of being human, unfortunately. What matters is how you respond to them. You seem like a person who cares about their effect on others and that's really important.

Children
  • I really do care. It eats me up if I've hurt someone. That is the worst thing ever for me. 

    I know it will work out but I just hare upset. Yet I'm so good at it. Go figure. 

    I'm distracting myself with a healthy helping of cradle of filth. Possibly some Deicide too. Who knows I may even get to rotting christ. Lol.