Don't like eating and drinking

Hi, I also have IBS and have struggled with food (anxious about what will set off ibs and nausea, tendency to just eat same thing over and over). Maintaining my weight has been difficult because like you describe eating less makes the digestive issues better in the short term- like you say in short term it feels fine to undereat but in long term it can have detrimental effects. I would then really push myself to gain weight and eat more but then suffered horrible digestive issues and would then loose weight again. I thought it would always be like this- either feel ok digestion wise but loose weight and ultimately damage my health and energy or forcefeed myself have horrible digestive issues but be more robust. But there is a middle way. 

I think everyone is very individual so different things work for different people but this is what is working for me.

Small regular meals feel much better than trying to eat large meals- it’s easier on my digestion and I don’t feel uncomfortably full afterwards. In the past I would make myself just eat 2 huge meals as i wanted to maintain weight but didn’t want to have to go through anxiety of eating more often…(plus i just got stuck in that routine) but this really upset my digestion. So I now eat about 6 smaller meals/snacks usually. It took me a while to get into this and at times I even set myself a timer to remind myself to eat . 

Also you have to remind yourself that it takes time for your body and for you to get used to changes in diet. If it feels off initially or if a food sets off your ibs at first that does not mean you won’t be fine with it in a while if you stick with it. Also with portion size, it takes a while to get used to having slightly bigger portions again and it will probably feel a bit uncomfortable and stressful at first. I am now actually able to eat things I thought I could never eat or digest ( due to ibs but also texture etc). 

in terms of anxiety, for me it helps to be in a calm and safe place when I eat. I don’t feel up to eating with people or in loud environments at the moment. Are you able to create a calm space for you to eat? Since eating is anxiety inducing it helps to remove any other stress factors. I also find the harder I try to push myself the worse it gets. If you are getting stressed and can’t eat, maybe try again in a few minutes when calmer. 

I understand that eating less feels better for you- but as you probably know this is a short term fix. I know from experience and being undernourished and very underweight is horrible- it makes everything hard and actually can increase anxiety too. 

I had a lot of help with my eating struggles from a dietitian who is familiar in working with autistic patients but also with people with ibs and all kinds of issues around food. This has been extremely helpful and without her I could never have made this progress. If you want I can share her details? 

in terms of food scratching your throat etc, i don’t have personal experience though I do have some sensory issues around food- Are there any foods that you found tolerable in the past? Have you tried more liquid options? (Soups etc). Maybe make a list of foods you think you might be able to try and rate them by how difficult it would be- start off small. There are so many food options out there - there will be some things that will work better- a ‘non-scratching’ food i can think of is ravioli/tortellini with a tomato sauce (i like passata as it is smooth and silky)- the tortellini themselves are rather soft too so maybe that could work?  You might need to experiment some more. There will be foods that work better for you than others, you may just not have found them yet. I’ve discovered quite a few foods i never thought i would like recently. 

I forgot to mention- what helped me initially is to make preparing food and eating as low effort as possible- i went for a lot of convenience options and low effort meals as the last thing I was able to do was spend a lot of time cooking something that i had no idea if i would be able to eat- that would have been too much and i would have been so stressed out during process it would have made it very hard. So to begin with i barely cooked. Now i make everything myself but i do still only make things that take 5-10 min. It actually wasn’t that hard to transition to cooking more once i was more confident about trying new foods and had a better idea of what i liked. And it’s nice to have flexibility

I forgot to mention- what helped me initially is to make preparing food and eating as low effort as possible- i went for a lot of convenience options and low effort meals as the last thing I was able to do was spend a lot of time cooking something that i had no idea if i would be able to eat- that would have been too much and i would have been so stressed out during process it would have made it very hard. So to begin with i barely cooked. Now i make everything myself but i do still only make things that take 5-10 min. It actually wasn’t that hard to transition to cooking more once i was more confident about trying new foods and had a better idea of what i liked. And it’s nice to have flexibility

Hi Ann thanks for replying. That sounds a good idea to eat small little and often. A lot of the time I'm looking at a plate with a lot of food on it which makes it unappetizing and very anxious for me so maybe little and often will help solve this as it really does put me off of eating anything.

Anxiety is another big problem. Eating at school is always anxiety inducing and weirdly sitting at the table with my family is a massive anxiety spiker as well. I'll see if I can eat in happier and calmer places.

Thanks Ann. My sister said she's going to help me with this as well.