hello everyone i would really appreciate peoples thoughts and advice regarding my 3 year old son,as i am worrying so much and i need help and support.
i am very concerned he is on the spectrum somewhere and would like to go through what his behaviour is like to see what people can advise.
he is currently going through CDU and has just finished a 3 day assessment with a multi disciplinary team and i find out in 2 weeks what they think and do a report. i have brought up autism concerns more than once and i feel i am not being listened to. i think they are going to come back that he just has a general delay with his speech being the main issue.
this is my little mans behaviour/habits etc
he was born normally, however he has very badly webbed toes (his left foot is severly affected NOT the normal webbing people have. because of this and his other issues he has had genetic testing which came back clear. it dosent affect his walking he has coped fine with it and still is.
he didnt babble as a baby. when he was about 1, i can remember him saying "thank you" very clearly. and ever since then, he seems to have regressed. he didnt talk at all or say much and when it got to him being about 18 months i knew something wasnt right. his speech is now a BIG issue, he cannot talk properly or say words properly, he has his own little language and ways of saying things, cannot say C T F S letters properly. i can understand a lot of what he says but others cant.
he has funny behavioural habits, he likes lining things up, especially cars, and if someone takes one out of line (especially his older brother who is 5) he has meltdowns. he also seems to like sensory thinggs to look at and often gets things up close to his eyes and moves them across his eyes. he also loves beads or anything he can get "locked into" doing for more than 20 mins at a time. he also likes dropping things off the corner of the sofa, although not done this for a while,
he likes to have 2 of everything one thing in each hand all the time e.g 2 crackers 2 biscuits etc.
he hates change,this is a BIG thing and has got worse recently.... if we go a different way home from school or anything diff he really has full on screaming, and its so hard, everyone stares at him, he wont listen to why or reason why we are going a different way, also if we go somewhere different or a change of plan, same thing happens.he also growls at people and scowls if they look at him when hes in the middle of one of his tantrums 
he dosent sleep at all he is still like a baby, fussing and waking up, its a nightmare. ive not had a full nights sleep with him for months and months, very very rare. he is on melatonin to help him sleep it helps him go to sleep but not stay asleep. this was given by his consultant at the CDU recently.
socially, he seems to be ok, he does play with other children but more alongside them, dosent go to join in much... if that makes sense, not with them. he often plays on his own, at home if his brother is outside doing something he stays in lining cars up or doing his own thing. he is very very cuddly and clingy still, and he has to hold my hand and twiddle my palm with his thumb to get him to sleep(im trying to get him out of this but its just so hard atm ) he also gets too overly affectionate often licking me when we give kisses etc. his eye contact is good but one of my friends said he seems to look "thru you" which since she has said i have noticed, he has gorgeous bright blue eyes but they seem glazed at times really distant when he looks at you,
hes still not potty trained or shows no interest, ive tried a few times no success. he just happily walks around with a soiled nappy on until i realise, sometimes he does tell me if he has, but mainly still he dosent
he dosent like loud noises and covers his ears, this is particularly noticable walking down to school when big buses or trucks go past
the main issue i need to ask is, can children with ASD behave more for their main carer, like a comfort thing. as his dad is constantly saying he "dosent do this for me" etc, but his dad dosent live with us, he lives 40 miles away, and one of my friends told me her little girl with aspergers was exactly the same, played up for her more, like a comfort/home thing???? at home it is a nightmare, the habits, the ocds the screaming at change etc. the other day he had a meltdown over my new tv because it was different also his older brother loves tormenting him constantly at him all the time, its so hard right now
also he dribbles loads still, always wetting his tops through it
he is at nursery and they say he is doing fine there and they dont think he has an ASD but again is it the main carer thing is it habit or is it all meaning something? im just so lost at the moment with all this its really stressing me out
im hoping for some answers when we go back to CDU in 2 weeks but i really feel we wont. i know it is very complex and hard to diagnose but i just KNOW something isnt right with him, and so many things make sense from what ive read about ASDs...i just need some help
any advice would be much appreciated. thank you xxxx
