Wife Wants to Help with Autistic Exhaustion

I was struggling with autistic exhaustion the other week and worried about it turning into burnout. My wife (we’re fully married now) asked what she could do to help me and I wasn’t sure.

When I get autistically exhausted I try to focus on spending time alone in the quiet; engaging in relatively passive entertainment (re-watching science fiction TV I know backwards or reading graphic novels like Asterix or Tintin); going for walks in non-busy areas and just trying to take off some of the obligations imposed by society or my busy superego (where possible). But I’m not really sure what my wife could do for me in this situation, other than reminding me that I can do these things, as I tend to get into autistic rigidity and forget that I could/should take time out in these ways. Does anyone have any other ideas?

Getting to nature isn’t easy where we live, but we could sometimes go to Golders Hill Park or Hampstead Heath, or even a short walk in the local park (if it’s not overrun with dogs illegally off-leash) so that’s another thing we can try.

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  • Hi Luftmentsch,

    I must stress that I am not diagnosed autistic although my path on mental health has lead to it now being raised, I am looking into this not to self-diagnose but to understand and perhaps make some changes where 'stress' affects me and should I improve with/ without a diagnosis, then brilliant.

    The reason I am responding is all the items you highlight are what I do... I walk in the light afternoons on my lunch break, I watch a disaster film for the umpteenth times to relax (often 2012 or Day after Tomorrow, easy watching) and for 2-3 months of each year in a single stretch I am wiped out completely (currently diagnosed as SAD).

    I struggle with feeling guilty I do not give my wife the time and do not talk about it and likewise when I do talk about it I feel guilty that I am being a burden. Thats tiring! I spend too much time apologising so... It is easier for me when my wife checks in, make sure I am hydrated, a quick text asking how my walk is... A check in with interest and caring rather than if I am ok albeit the same thing.

    Wishing you well.

  • I'm sorry you struggle with this too. Thanks for your comment.

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