Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello
I have a nearly five year old son. He is bright and lively and we would never have even considered he had aspergers until his nursery teacher mentioned something and I have been concerned ever since and am almost waiting for the school he has just started to call me in for a 'chat'.
My son is very outgoing and has no problem with social interaction - but I sometimes wonder if this is appropriate. He is very excitable with people and gives them huge hugs, invading their space. He also loves washing machines - asking about them when we go to peoples houses. This is something the nursery teacher was concerned about. He tends to have other attachments to other subjects as well, although these tend to be 'phases' that he has grown out of - except the washing machine one. He told his school teacher that his daddy had two new washing machines put in in his work, he tells everyone this, and often mentions it several times to the same person. This appears to have faded at the moment. But he is now interested in who has school lunches and who has dinners at school. He does have other interests however.
He has very good speech and appears to have no trouble reading, but poorly developed fine motor skills - he doesnt hold a pencil correctly and does not draw. He is beginning to write numbers though and can write his name. He appears to be good at maths. He was also quite late in processing information. Up to the age of about four if someone asked him a question I knew he didnt understand them. He likes rules but doesnt get upset at change, although can be bossy when others break the rules. Generally he does not have meltdowns or get anxious in stressful situations.
I think it is the washing machine issue I am particularly worried about. He does make friends easily although sometimes he is the one willing to do something 'silly' for a laugh while everyone else shrinks back- at the end of nursery term he started weeing near a tree to make all the boys laugh for example and they all knew that this wasnt appropriate.
The nursery knew I was upset about what the manager had said and said there was no need for an assessment and got a glowing report at the end of term but I cant help but wonder.
Im sorry if these issue seem mild, I just dont ever want to be unprepared for a conversation like that again and am just worried the school will say something. I spoke to my health visitor but she was pretty useless, just said they could do an assessment - but this may mean labelling and be an unneccessary process when it seems he may have some traits but not enough to have intervention?
Any advice would be appreciated.
Many thanks.
Julia - I have a son with asd and he has had similar obsessions to your boy re microwaves, toilets, fans and various parts of the car which he likes to talk about and question us about quite repetitively. The repetitive speech around the interest rather than the interest itself can certainly be a trait of asd. As can inappropriate over affection in some children. I can see why the nursery teacher has raised concerns with you but whether or not your son would fully fit the diagnostic criteria can only be found out through having him assessed. Purely giving my opinion if he is doing well at school, making friends easily, is happy and you have no issues with him at home then I wouldn't see the need for any assessment (I also have daughter with tons of traits but none which get in the way of her having friends, doing well at school and being extremely happy). That is just my opinion though and whether you choose to go down the assessment route is something you have to decide for yourself.
Jmhirvine - There are some possible indicators of asd in your post too. My advice would be to get your son assessed as your son is having issues at school and you are concerned. If you want to have him assessed you don't need the school to agree with you. In my experience it is rare for staff in mainstream schools to know much about asd.