Hi everyone im new here and this is my first thread,I want to share my story with u in the hope that someone out there can relate to my situation, sorry if this is a long thread i just need to get it all off my chest and get feedback so please reply.
My son has just turned 11 since he was born he has been hard work, first i thought it was his age and it would get better as he got older. the trouble first started when he was about 3 he flooded my bathroom by putting tissue in the sink and running the tap ( that could be an age thing ) then i would have neighbours knocking on my door saying he was smashing their garden ornaments hen he was 4 going on 5 ( we lived in ireland at this time in a little town where lots of children his age played out together it was very safe wouldnt dream of letting a 4 yr old play outside the garden in England.
He could never sit still people always looked at my as if to say control ur child , family members started to critisize my parenting because i found it hard to control him , my sister used to have a go at me cos he wouldnt answer her questions or say hello when she said hello to him calling him rude! and saying i should make him to which i would try, he hates social occassions birthdays etc but only when a fuss is made , we took him out for a meal one yr for his birthday with family and he sobbed cos he didnt want anyone to sing happy birthday to him and my sisters mother in law shouted at him for being mard i was not happy!! he is still like this now .
at about the age of 8 the would put the cord of the blinds in the living room around his neck and pull forward which scared the life out of me i had to knot them up so he couldnt reach them, he has got out of my bedroom window on the pourch and jumped again at the age of around 8 i was at the front door directly abouve the pourch when he did it so he landed in front of me , u could only imagine my reaction , never liked being told NO or being told what to do otherwise he would have really bad tantrums , i confiscated his playstation off him when he was 8 for being naughty and he ran into the kitchen got a knife out of the draw and threatened to kill himself, i think at this point it dawned on me something is wrong he would trash his bedroom in temper and throw things down the stairs not caring if he hit anyone .
I approached the school with all this and the DR asking for help to find out what i could do and why he was behaving like this , the school dissmised me and didnt really help us , the DR refered him to CAMHS but they said he didnt fit the criteria for an asssessment and told me to do a parenting course to which i did, it made no difference.
Things have not got better as he has got older im scared to disapline him cos of his temper and the battles we have , I have worn out different stratergies to disapline him that might work , although i have found that saying nothing when i can see his temper rising i tell him to go to his room to calm down and he does then we can talk about it .
Every thing seems to anoy him , small talk , facial expressions, situations , he seems to be sensitive to clothes he will only wear tracksuit bottoms and a t shirt even in the summer his yr i could not get him into a pair of shorts!, he copies saying from his fav cartoons ans uses a funny voice to say them randomly, he screams at the top of his voice if he gets excited , he makes random noises at home and in school , he taps on his chest all the time he does love the drums maybe thats the reason , he is very defient at home and my partner says he is obsessed with me if i go anywhere with out him i get lots of questions when il be home etc and he will time me he wakes up every night and if my partner is not staying he will get in my bed.
I finally got a refural to CAMHS theough the school nurse at his new school , after months of waiting i got an appointment and the out come was he didnt have ADHD like i thought but they did suspect ASD . CAMHS then discharged him from their services and we now only have a paediatrician who i will next see in 3 months and she doesnt want to rush the diagnosis and wants to avoid a lable , but now the school are saying about his behaviour in class saying he cant stay focused and he is distracted by the slightest thing like something on the floor he has to get out of his seat to get it , the other day the class were reading a book as a class and my son had his head on the table whilst reading and out of the blue stood up with his head still on the table and started walking around the table , his teacherf wants someone to observe him in class.
his teachers and myself have had lots of meetings and we r all on the same page with my son they also think he really needs to be assessed ASAP as he is in yr 6 now! but not enough is being done , in the mean time i have no support what so ever with my son and its hard to get support without a diagnosis , what do i do ???? sorry for the long post hope someone can identify with me