To routine or not to routine?

So us folks with Autism are supposed to be sticklers for routine. I found this a hard subject to discuss when I was being assessed because having no idea that I was autistic I never viewed my life as being made up of routines. For instance I don’t clean my teeth at the same time every day or have to puff up the cushions before I go to bed. However, what I do notice is that if something familiar in my life stops or changes then I find it hard to maintain my day to day activity. As an example, during the pandemic the religious meetings which I had been attending in person since childhood, and attended because I wanted to, was moved to Zoom. Initially I was good at attending via Zoom but this gradually dropped off. Now I have the opportunity to go back to these in person meetings and I am really struggling. I sometimes wonder if inactivity can of itself become a routine. Another example, on a cold night I hop into bed with all my clothes on but then I have a job to break that routine so my new routine becomes clothes left on for weeks until they begin to look grimy and I start to smell. This is not agreeable to me at all but this inactivity seems to become my new routine.

would anyone else say that they experience no routine as their new routine. It upsets and frustrates me that I seem incapable of breaking these negative and self destructive habits. I would appreciate input and if possible advice on this problem.

Parents
  • It’s normal for us not to notice what is routine, and what isn’t, because that’s how we’ve always been. I eat the same type of food at the approximate same times on work days, but I don’t apply the rules to any other day. I put the bin out when I get in from work on a Tuesday. If I leave it until later that day I feel unsettled, like I’ve forgotten something but don’t know what. I have order on a working week, but when I take a week off I’m unsettled. I amble from one thing to another, because I don’t know what to do. And I forget as well. I do make lists sometimes, but getting them done is another thing. I procrastinate. 
    I do have lots of routine type things, but they aren’t steadfast. If I need to change things I can. They don’t rule me. 

  • This sounds incredibly familiar to me. Thank you for putting it into words, I feel less like a lazy lump now Grinning

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