To routine or not to routine?

So us folks with Autism are supposed to be sticklers for routine. I found this a hard subject to discuss when I was being assessed because having no idea that I was autistic I never viewed my life as being made up of routines. For instance I don’t clean my teeth at the same time every day or have to puff up the cushions before I go to bed. However, what I do notice is that if something familiar in my life stops or changes then I find it hard to maintain my day to day activity. As an example, during the pandemic the religious meetings which I had been attending in person since childhood, and attended because I wanted to, was moved to Zoom. Initially I was good at attending via Zoom but this gradually dropped off. Now I have the opportunity to go back to these in person meetings and I am really struggling. I sometimes wonder if inactivity can of itself become a routine. Another example, on a cold night I hop into bed with all my clothes on but then I have a job to break that routine so my new routine becomes clothes left on for weeks until they begin to look grimy and I start to smell. This is not agreeable to me at all but this inactivity seems to become my new routine.

would anyone else say that they experience no routine as their new routine. It upsets and frustrates me that I seem incapable of breaking these negative and self destructive habits. I would appreciate input and if possible advice on this problem.

Parents
  • I was thinking of starting an adjacent topic but this seems a reasonable place to add my thoughts. The thread was going to be ‘Things that would be easy to sort and would help but habit is stopping you’ or similar. An example: for a while I was slightly melting cheese in rice crackers in the microwave. Over about a fortnight wee melted bits accumulated. Every day I’d think ‘that needs to come out and be cleaned’ then simply not do it. Then one day I made myself do it. That was about a week ago. The glass plate thing is in the drainer for all that time. About two feet away from the microwave. All I need to do is lift it and place it back in there. But instead I’ve been precariously balancing things (eg. reheating a tea or warming soya milk for cereal)  on the wee tiny round thing and then turning it on. That’s my new normal and it’s so stupid. But it’s a habit now. One that when I finally reverse I’ll think ‘well that didn’t hurt did it?’ Strange. 

  • I have a similar thing with washing up. I hate washing dishes, the activity gives me no satisfaction and allows my brain to wander which is risky to say the least. I let things pile up and make my life harder and harder as I try to work around the mess until I finally give in and deal with it. What makes this even more ridiculous is the fact that I now own a dishwasher, which takes all of 30 seconds to stack, but I still choose to allow the piles to accumulate. I really do feel like an idiot/crazy person sometimes...

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  • I have a similar thing with washing up. I hate washing dishes, the activity gives me no satisfaction and allows my brain to wander which is risky to say the least. I let things pile up and make my life harder and harder as I try to work around the mess until I finally give in and deal with it. What makes this even more ridiculous is the fact that I now own a dishwasher, which takes all of 30 seconds to stack, but I still choose to allow the piles to accumulate. I really do feel like an idiot/crazy person sometimes...

Children