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Food issues

LornaHSamsmum

Hi guys I am new here! I am a mum of four and my third child is undergoing Austism diagonises. 

I am having issues with him eating food. Some days he will eat certain foods and the next time I put them in front of him he wont touch them??

He mainly wants to eat junk food but I try to give all my children the same foods, and a balanced diet which does occasionally include junk foods. We eat together as a family. He can sometimes go for days without eating a lot then gorges himself. 

He will only eat carrots (when inclined to do so) and bananas. I can't get him to eat any other fruit or veg no matter what tricks I try. He sometimes eats chicken or beef but other times wont. I always put the same foods on all my children's plates to try and encourage him to eat other things. 

Is anyone else having food problems?

The other problem I have is standards at the table. I never force my kids to finish their plates but eat enough to fill them up. However the others have to eat a certain amount before I will allow pudding, fruit, ice cream, yogurt etc.. But on the days my son wont eat do I say he can't have pudding until he's eaten some food? The others are starting to think its unfair they have to eat something when my son doesn't. I hope that makes sense.

I guess my real question is how do I not set double standards but still allow for my sons indivdual needs?

  • Hi

    I agree with tadie123.  We have had a referral to a dietician as I was concerned that my sons diet was excacerbating his low mood/depression through a lack of iron or other nutrients.

    The dietician was fantastic!  You know that feeling when you meet someone and they just get it without you even having to explain, personally I always find this such a relief and so reassuring.

    He gave us lots of ideas on type of foods, preparation, presentation, attitude towards food, helping with the shopping and choosing foods and our approach as parents.  Basically he advised no pressure, but plenty of exposure to all foods i.e buffet style meals and seeing us eating a wide range of foods (role modelling).  He did not advise the "only get pudding if you eat your greens" approach that we had also been using as it implies there is something negative they have to overcome in eating the greens to get the reward instead of seeing the food as a positive thing.

    His advice was based on our sons personality too so may be different depending on the child but have to say, the buffet style always goes down well and we have to bite our tongues not to prod him to try the foods - it has to be all his own choice.

    I have also come to realise, when my sons anxiety levels are high it will absolutely affect his diet and eating habits and there is no mileage in us pushing this.  When he starts to relax we see a significant improvement. They are all different though.

    If you are concerned about your sons nutrition levels perhaps your paedatrician could refer you to your local dietician.  I have to say, I found it worth it's weight in gold.

    Good luck

     

  • My son is 17 and we have only recently found out that he has Aspergers.

    To cut a very long story short I would like to say that some of his difficulties around food gave him fairly extreme anxiety.  Anxiety can affect anyone's appetite and ability to even swallow food.  If anyone has worries about their child's diet and they seem extremely stressed, from my hard won experience, I would suggest that they talk to their GP and ask if their dietary needs are being met with what they are currently eating and leave it at that. If changes are needed then, in my opinion, it should be done as gradually as possible and with as little fuss and stress as possible.

    My son for example couldn't eat anything savoury unless it was smothered with tomato ketchup!  Have recently been told by him that it was because he was obsessed by the colour and felt he couldn't eat anything unless it was red!

    It can be really hard for any other children in the family to understand why their brother or sister is being allowed to "get away" with something that they are not.  I can understand that but my other two children have witnessed my son's anxiety and stress and seem to realise that he is different and that seems to be okay with them, thank goodness.  I'm probably just lucky but children do seem to be adaptable to difference when they know it makes no difference if you see what I mean.

    I do hope things get a little easier for you soon.

  • Hi LornaHsamsmum

    Welcome to the forum.  I hope that you will find that we are a friendly bunch.  We are always here to offer advice and a shoulder to cry on.  

    My son is also a very fussy eater (pizza, ham and cheese toasties, carrots, bananas and chocolate) and I admit that I used to cook meals just for him so that he would at least eat something.  However it got to the stage that I was cooking 3 meals every evening and decided to put a stop to it.  I now cook a meal for him and his sister and if he does not eat it then he can have fruit.  There were (and still are) days when he would not eat anything but he is now nearly six feet tall and I don't think it has done him any harm.  

    His eating habits have caused a lot of problems but I was determined that he would not be treated any differently to my daughter and so he basically had to like it or lump it. 

    My approach may not work for everyone but I hope that the fact that eating problems are a common problem may help in someway.

    Let us know what you decide or what you try

    Colincat