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Looking for advice about gf asking for a key

UsrUnknown

My Gf is asking for a key to my flat for emergencies. I trust her with my life but I’m scared my key might get in the wrong hands and I get burgled or something. I’ve given it a lot of thought but I’m not sure how to reply without offending her.  I know she will try and ask me why and try convince why she thinks it’s a good idea she has a key. She will most likely give me a scenario but it’s more difficult when really I’m thinking well I don’t trust your family and I’m aware some are on drugs and have money problems. What do I do?

  • in reply to UsrUnknown
    UsrUnknown said:
    It’s difficult for me when it comes to trusting people with my home. It’s my safe place.

    Absolutely !

    Ben

  • My advice is: be completely honest with her. You don’t want to do this and I completely understand your reasons - they make perfect sense to me. Probably that’s because I’m autistic too of course - and would have similar concerns if I was in this situation. 
    if it’s going to stress you out you don’t have to do it. It’s your right - it’s your flat and your key. The stress would be bad for you and you have every right to take care of yourself - and that probably means not doing this, because it’s upsetting to you. 
    just be honest with her, and be kind about it. If she truly cares for you she will understand.

  • You could get a key safe with a combination lock, have it securely attached to a wall near your door and give her the combination. That way she cannot lose the key, or have it taken from her by her undesirable relations, but still have access to your house in emergencies. You could also buy a safe for any particular valuables you have, and not give her access to it.

  • in reply to Cullpepper

    I’m sorry to hear that happened to you. I would be worried giving my keys to neighbours. It’s difficult for me when it comes to trusting people with my home. It’s my safe place.

  • When my Mum died i said to my Sister i'll give you my spare set of keys , in case i lose mine and lock myself out. But then we all fell out, i found out Julie had been robbing me, i trusted her 100%, but she conned me, she knew i was daft (autistic), it was so easy for her. I tried to get my keys, i had visions of her coming here while i was out at the shops, or even worse, of her coming here with a knife in her hand, in the middle of the night while i was asleep. I never got the keys, i had to change all the locks.  Now after i had to go into hospital for 3wks, i've thought if anything happend, i could be lying dead at the bottom of the stairs for weeks and weeks, or unable to get help. So i got an extra 3 bunches of keys cut, and gave them to 3 different neighbours.