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Telling your child about their diagnosis

focus

I just wondered what others think about telling their child about their diagnosis and what's the best to do it.

My son was diagnosed with aspergers in July, he's been asking why he's different for a while. We haven't told him yet as I'm not sure what's the best way to go about it. i want him to see it as a positive not negative. also I don't wanting him using it as an excuse.

The clinical psychologist has said they would sit down with him either whilst I tell him and explain in a bit more detail.

How much should we tell him. i'm only just begining to get my head around it.

Thanks for any advice.

Parents

  • We have no secrets in our house because my child's hearing is unbeleivably good.  This being said, we had to tell them before diagnosis as they would have been too inquisitive as to why they needewd to go to the doctor (this was at the age of 7).  In my child's case, I think they would have felt betrayed and been very cross that they were being diagnosed without their knowledge.

    In terms of knowing about the diagnosis, they themselves were through a process that took a few years.  First there was a releif in terms of this is why I am different, followed by a I am not as good as other people because I have it, followed by where we are now, which is an acceptance and an acknowledgement that they are who they are because of it and that ASD is not a bad thing, it just is, kind of like having blond hair or blue eyes.

    The child may not accept it at first, and it may take time to come to terms with it, however, they have a right to know, and knowing can make life a lot easier.  It gives them the knowledge to know they have to have work around strategies and what their strengths and weaknesses are.  The main thing is to stress to your child that ASD is not a bad thing, it is nothing to be ashamed of any more than having asthma would be.  And having it does not mean they are incapable of doing everything an NT person can do, just like having asthma does not mean you can't be an Olympic athlete.  You just may have to go about things a bit differently.

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  • We have no secrets in our house because my child's hearing is unbeleivably good.  This being said, we had to tell them before diagnosis as they would have been too inquisitive as to why they needewd to go to the doctor (this was at the age of 7).  In my child's case, I think they would have felt betrayed and been very cross that they were being diagnosed without their knowledge.

    In terms of knowing about the diagnosis, they themselves were through a process that took a few years.  First there was a releif in terms of this is why I am different, followed by a I am not as good as other people because I have it, followed by where we are now, which is an acceptance and an acknowledgement that they are who they are because of it and that ASD is not a bad thing, it just is, kind of like having blond hair or blue eyes.

    The child may not accept it at first, and it may take time to come to terms with it, however, they have a right to know, and knowing can make life a lot easier.  It gives them the knowledge to know they have to have work around strategies and what their strengths and weaknesses are.  The main thing is to stress to your child that ASD is not a bad thing, it is nothing to be ashamed of any more than having asthma would be.  And having it does not mean they are incapable of doing everything an NT person can do, just like having asthma does not mean you can't be an Olympic athlete.  You just may have to go about things a bit differently.

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