My partner is autistic and we’ve got a bit of a dilemma. Physical contact is definitely my love language. My partner has expressed that she wants me to touch her more, and I’m thrilled.
The problem is, it’s incredibly overstimulating for her. She says it feels like static on her skin when I stroke her arm or scratch her back. Trying to be gentle tickles her, and touching her firmly doesn’t really feel much like anything. After trying this four or five times, I stopped, but she wants me to just push through it and keep going. She’s not the type to say yes to things she doesn’t want to do.
My issue: should I just power through and keep touching her even though it doesn’t feel great? I don’t want her to create a negative association to my touch. And for other autistic folks, is it even possible to “power through” and fix sensory overstimulation? She sees how much I like being touched and it makes her jealous. I know she wants this for herself and I want to give it to her. But I don’t know where to start. Are there tips for making her skin less sensitive so that she can enjoy physical contact?