Self neglect

Any suggestions to help my 60 year old brother in law?  He's lived alone in the family home since his parents died, with some care from my sister in law who lives nearly two hours away.  He's waiting for a formal diagnosis, but his brother and nephew are diagnosed so we're pretty sure he will be too.

He's lost a lot of weight, isn't cleaning, to the extent that visitors have been ill after going there)  - won't spend any money to fix broken household equipment  or maintain the house at all,(although he has savings) won't put the heating on or flush the loo for days.    At the same time, he wont get rid of anything that carries memories of his parents - to the extent that he keeps wrappers, foil etc on the surfaces.

He says he doesn't see the point of cleaning as it will only need to be done again the next day and it's too expensive to mend things, but won't accept our offers of organising and paying for repairs either.

Has anyone had any experience of this?  My sister in law doesn't want to have to stop helping him but it is upsetting her to see him neglecting himself and what was her family home.

Parents
  • He probably finds the changes hard. Everything is overwhelming for him right now. One small task a day is a big ask, but one you could suggest. It really is that difficult. You could also ask if there’s one thing he needs help with, whatever that might be. He’s likely to say no, and I guess he doesn’t want other people touching things and being in the house. Difficult situation, sorry I can’t help further.

Reply
  • He probably finds the changes hard. Everything is overwhelming for him right now. One small task a day is a big ask, but one you could suggest. It really is that difficult. You could also ask if there’s one thing he needs help with, whatever that might be. He’s likely to say no, and I guess he doesn’t want other people touching things and being in the house. Difficult situation, sorry I can’t help further.

Children