Finally in London and tbh i was actually feeling suicidal this morning but didn't do anything. Tbh i didn't need to because when we landed in london i felt a bit better even though i had some of my stuff taken away at the airport which is fine . But now i just had another fucking argument with my sister and my parents . I'm just really tired and just finished all my assignments on canvas for college so yeah . I hate my life . All today i just kept complaining and everything and even vomited because i had so much todAY . I was negative even my teacher when she phoned me on thursday Rosie said stop being negative . And um i said to lauren on friday I'm going to attempt suicide before i go to london to escape my pain but sarah( my developemental worker who's finishing up with me next week) said that Suicide isn't the only option . I'm glad i didn't attempt to end my life today or yesterday . Because i was about to do that today but i didn't . And oh i didn't even well um do anything to keep myself safe so yeah . IDFK why this keeps happening to me every week tbh . I'm tired of my life. SARAH IS FINISHING UP WITH ME NEXT WEEK AND UM HANNAH ALREADY FINISHED WITH ME AND NOW IDK WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO . I DON'T LIKE CHANGE AT ALL UNEXPECTED AND UNPLEASANT CHANGE , we're moving to block 2 next week for college and I'm not ready at all . I'M GOING THROUGH A LOT RN , and things are getting really bad but I'm trying my hardest to be alive so yeah . Now as I'm writing this it's 20:43 in London rn so yeah . I'm heading to bed . Tomorrow will be a busy day for my family because i'm not going to say . Yeah .
