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Explaining a cancer diagnosis

NAS83421

Hi all

I received a cancer diagnosis recently, and have been struggling to find a way of telling my 22 year old brother. We lost our mum a few years ago and he is living in supported living a distance from me.

My worry is that he will hyperfocus on the worst case scenario and Google absolutely every side effect of treatments and it’ll cause him to spiral into a dark place which has been known to happen previously.

Any help on how to start and manage the conversation would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

  • I'd say make sure you have as much information as possible about your condition and what treatments you will be having. Be specific about what's going on so that he has facts, rather than hints or suggestions. 

  • It's a tough one, and I find myself wondering if it might be worth getting in touch with Macmillan Cancer Support to see if they can offer any suggestions. The Cancer Research UK forum is another option.

    If you haven't already done so, it might also pay to make anyone involved in caring for your brother (such as support workers) aware of the situation too. 

    I wish you all the best.

  • i dunno, it depends on how bad it is and what the effects will be..... if it was me id want to avoid telling him at all costs and just try and go with the treatment and hope it can get treated and go away without anyone noticing.

    but ofcourse thats not always gonna be so easy if you have to do chemo and you will have physical and visible effects..... depends how much you see him. but me if it can be treated, and theres a huge chance of surviving to the point you have confidence you will make it... i think i just wont tell anyone and will just get it treated and cured without worrying him myself.... ofcourse other people will say otherwise and thats just my opinion on what id do if it was me. if it was me and i could get it sorted and knew i have high chance of surviving it id just not tell them until it is cured and gone away and done so as to get rid of other people worrying and they only know when there is now no reason to worry about it.