Hi everyone
Im new to all this so please bear with me if I don't explain things correctly.
My 6yr old has always had difficulties. School recognised this in his first year and he currently has an IEP in place.(learning difficulties)
As my son is getting older I'm finding his meltdowns really difficult to handle, he really hurts when he lashes out as its often aimed at me or his little sister.
Because of the meltdowns I spoke to school regarding them and also took a list of my other concerns with me (social difficulties-strange eating habits-attachment to a blanket-very emotional-low self esteem-thinks everything is real like Spider-Man, cartoons etc- delayed speech as a child, there is a lot more things but I have just given these few as a guide to my concerns)
The school SEN arranged a few meetings with me and advised me to go to my GP, which I did and I was told there was nothing he could do and if I needed help I had to go back to SENCO, so off I went.... We had another meeting and we filled a CAF form in, which then resulted in a TAC meeting at school with the SEN, Health visitor, School nurse, IFSS.
I have received the TAC meeting record in the post and it states that they are referring him to the social communication difficulties pathway for assessment. I'm a bit unsure on what to expect?
The thing is, my son is very violent at home, a lot of the time it is just constant threats and no actual violence, but on occasions he does lash out and gets very stressed, but he is totally opposite at school, he is very quiet and they say they don't see any of the behaviour I have mentioned Apart from his social difficulties. I have explained that it is mostly only on school days that he is so stressed and lashes out, he begs me not to take him to school because he hates it. He hates the dinner hall as he says it too loud for him (so doesn't eat much as he has to leave), he is very funny about toilets, there is only 1 he will go to at school and if someone is using it or it is dirty he will wet himself rather than go to another one, if he has a different teacher he wets himself.. But he's never violent like he is at home.
I don't understand why he is so violent, we don't watch violent tv, DVD etc, there is no violence in the household what so ever, I don't understand why he gets the violent thoughts and outbursts from?
I don't understand why he can be so different in school settings?
can a child with autism hold their behaviour together in different situations?
IFSS has advised me to join "solihull group" to gain support? What is this? Has anyone ever done this? What does it involve? Is it a parenting course? I feel that because I have said I'm finding his meltdowns hard to handle that they think I'm inadequate as a parent.
Im sorry to ramble on but I am so confused, I know nothing regarding autism, and I'm unsure of what to expect, I'm also worried that because he holds his behaviour together at school that they may think some thing is wrong at home.
I have someone from IFSS coming to our home to speak with us and my son in 2 wks as they said his input is needed for the CAF forms.
I really just want to ask if anyone thinks I have reason to think Autism? and what am I to expect from an assessment, I am lead to believe that it could be as long as 18mths before I even get an appointment, why does it take soooo long?
Confused 
sorry if I don't make sense x