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Finding a Girlfriend While Autistic

Harvey

Hi, I'm a 19 year old autistic male, I've gotten to the point where I feel like i'm ready to try looking for a relationship but understand that having autism may put me in a bit of a difficult place, does anyone have any advice?

  • in reply to Harvey

    Well yes, that's the rub. I suppose if there was an autistic club you could go to, I have heard of such things but never been to one. As others have said though, hobbies are a good one as the other person then has a similar interest. The nerdier the hobby the more likely they are to be autistic! But then also perhaps the less likely there are to be females there... As a female that was easier for me! But I still managed to make wrong assumptions that anyone with the same hobby would be like me and like most people with that hobby. Like many historical re-enactors are nerdy obsessives with untidy homes (like me) but not the one I ended up marrying!

  • in reply to Giraffe

    Thank you! Where/how did you meet your partner? :-)

  • I know it's a cliche, but just be yourself - no matter who tries to tell you any different - and I promise you the right person will come along. It may take time, but they will. I've got a lot of issues as well as being on the spectrum and, in spite of my being 'high maintenance' (I say that in inverted commas because it's pretty toxic and problematic to label someone as that in my opinion) in so many ways, my partner is truly amazing, has been beside me through some pretty bad times and we're very happy together. Another cliche, but I think it's equally true as anyone's advice about just being yourself: there's someone out there for everyone. You're still so young - do what you want to do whilst being as kind and open as you can, and good things will happen.

  • in reply to AuTriker

    Thank you for the advice! i'm not too sure how to though? I did try an autistic dating app but it seemed quite inactive (used it for a couple months) or I just so happened to get no matches lol

  • Find a girlfriend who is also autistic! If I'd known when I was dating then I'd have tried to find a partner on the spectrum who understood me and who I could understand. But find one from the same end of the spectrum as you if possible.

  • Go for the one you click with and stop worrying about it.

    I never had your experience. I didn't know I was Autistic until I was 56. But I have had my share of boyfriends. Some turned out to be just good friends. One was abusive  but I have also loved and deeply...with no idea. 

    We do relate differently, but we can have love. We're honest. Some people respond well to that.

    Just go for the girl you like and let her see you. Just be you.

    Oh and btw not one but two of my ex boyfriends from my youth I am still mates with turn out to be on the Spectrum now. Lol. Like minds attract, huh?