Difficult behaviour difficult to prove but have no caught it

My granchilds mum is fairly sure that my grandchild has some form of adhd and it certainly seems most of the time that there may be a problem as my granchild has a short attention span and continuously does things that are wrong and no matter how much you explain to them that they have done wrong and they seem to understand, they keep doing these things. That is just a small part of it and it happens wherever they are i.e home, school, out in the community. My grandchild is still of primary school age and although i agree there seems to be a problem, i keep hoping that it may just be a case of making them understand. What i would like some advice with is this. My grandchild stayed with me recently, and i set some simple boundaries, such as not opening cupboards without asking, and sitting on the sofa whilst i was occupied, instead of wandering about and touching things or going into other rooms. My grandchild was well behaved most of the day and i decided to have a chat with them about some of the things that they get constantly told off for, such as wandering off without telling someone or being disruptive or touching things they shouldn't to name but a few. When it seemed that i had their attention and they were  joining in the discussion about these things, i pointed out how nice it was not to have been in trouble whilst staying with me or constantly being told to stop doing something. I then explained how their actions can affect other people around them such as making people worry when they wander off, or upset someone if they touch their things and break them. and that it would be better to ask someone if they could do these things and then they wouldnt be in trouble. Now i understand that if my grandchild does have a problem then although they may say they understand, that they may well not, but i felt it was worth a try if it meant that it would help them to improve, if it turned out that the problem was not something like adhd. However, when i spoke to my grandchild's mum, she was rather angry that i had done this as she is convinced that it isn't just a matter of trying to make my granchild understand what she is doing is wrong, and that my grandchild definitely has a problem and cannot help the things they do, and that i should not have pointed out the effect the things they do, can have on other people. My grandchilds mum said that it was classed as abuse as it could mess my granchilds head up and make them feel guilty for something they cannot help. Whilst i can understand what she means, i dont feel that we should give in trying to help my grandchild understand these things, until a professional can confirm that they do have a problem that cannot be helped by this method, it seems as though my grandchilds mum has decided that as she has tried everything and nothing has worked then my grandchild must have this problem, her other reply to me was, that my grandchild says they understand, but then keeps doing things, so i would be wasting my time trying to talk to my granchild about things. Have i done wrong by trying to do this and have i potentially made things worse for my grandchild by explaining how their actions can make other people feel, i certainly do not want them to feel guilty or mess their thinking up. Sorry if this is longwinded but i feel guilty for trying to help.

My granchilds mum is fairly sure that my grandchild has some form of adhd and it certainly seems most of the time that there may be a problem as my granchild has a short attention span and continuously does things that are wrong and no matter how much you explain to them that they have done wrong and they seem to understand, they keep doing these things. That is just a small part of it and it happens wherever they are i.e home, school, out in the community. My grandchild is still of primary school age and although i agree there seems to be a problem, i keep hoping that it may just be a case of making them understand. What i would like some advice with is this. My grandchild stayed with me recently, and i set some simple boundaries, such as not opening cupboards without asking, and sitting on the sofa whilst i was occupied, instead of wandering about and touching things or going into other rooms. My grandchild was well behaved most of the day and i decided to have a chat with them about some of the things that they get constantly told off for, such as wandering off without telling someone or being disruptive or touching things they shouldn't to name but a few. When it seemed that i had their attention and they were  joining in the discussion about these things, i pointed out how nice it was not to have been in trouble whilst staying with me or constantly being told to stop doing something. I then explained how their actions can affect other people around them such as making people worry when they wander off, or upset someone if they touch their things and break them. and that it would be better to ask someone if they could do these things and then they wouldnt be in trouble. Now i understand that if my grandchild does have a problem then although they may say they understand, that they may well not, but i felt it was worth a try if it meant that it would help them to improve, if it turned out that the problem was not something like adhd. However, when i spoke to my grandchild's mum, she was rather angry that i had done this as she is convinced that it isn't just a matter of trying to make my granchild understand what she is doing is wrong, and that my grandchild definitely has a problem and cannot help the things they do, and that i should not have pointed out the effect the things they do, can have on other people. My grandchilds mum said that it was classed as abuse as it could mess my granchilds head up and make them feel guilty for something they cannot help. Whilst i can understand what she means, i dont feel that we should give in trying to help my grandchild understand these things, until a professional can confirm that they do have a problem that cannot be helped by this method, it seems as though my grandchilds mum has decided that as she has tried everything and nothing has worked then my grandchild must have this problem, her other reply to me was, that my grandchild says they understand, but then keeps doing things, so i would be wasting my time trying to talk to my granchild about things. Have i done wrong by trying to do this and have i potentially made things worse for my grandchild by explaining how their actions can make other people feel, i certainly do not want them to feel guilty or mess their thinking up. Sorry if this is longwinded but i feel guilty for trying to help.