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Difficult behaviour difficult to prove but have no caught it

Penski

I have had trouble getting my daughter diagnosed because while out she is quiet, listens and enjoys being a voyeur in life but at home, behind closed doors, she is quite different. We have had an OT assessment and Camhs Social Worker has informally diagnosed Asperger's Syndrome with Sensory Integration Disorder.

The only way I have been able to get help recently is to take videos of her typical behaviour. MyDaugherVideos the videos taken are all within 4 days of each other and not all videos have been uploaded, so you can see that we spend almost every day in conflict or noise.

Any advice or opinion would be very much appreciated.

Parents

  • Also...

    Penski said:

    Of course I do.  We have an open talking policy in our house; nothing is not discussed.  However, it doesn't stop the arguments, shouting and being awkard.

    That is not quite the same thing as simply talking, and trying to understand what life is like for her.

    This type of behaviour has gone on since she was at least 2 years old but now becoming increasingly difficult to deal with.  We walk on eggshells despite talking, screaming, punishing, pleading and negotiating - she is spiteful, obnoxious, abusive and our lives are filled with constant arguing.  We feel powerless.
    Screaming, punishing, and pleading are all negative, punishment-based, reward mechanisms, as might talking and negotiating be, depending on what you mean by those words.
    People on the Autistic Spectrum often fight against those forms of motivation, and we're often incredibly stubborn.
    You therefore maybe fighting a losing battle with such an approach, and you need to find a different way to move forward.
    Try instead positive, reward-based, motivational techniques.
    In a nutshell try "If you do X you'll get Y" not "If you don't do X you won't get Y", and so on.
Reply

  • Also...

    Penski said:

    Of course I do.  We have an open talking policy in our house; nothing is not discussed.  However, it doesn't stop the arguments, shouting and being awkard.

    That is not quite the same thing as simply talking, and trying to understand what life is like for her.

    This type of behaviour has gone on since she was at least 2 years old but now becoming increasingly difficult to deal with.  We walk on eggshells despite talking, screaming, punishing, pleading and negotiating - she is spiteful, obnoxious, abusive and our lives are filled with constant arguing.  We feel powerless.
    Screaming, punishing, and pleading are all negative, punishment-based, reward mechanisms, as might talking and negotiating be, depending on what you mean by those words.
    People on the Autistic Spectrum often fight against those forms of motivation, and we're often incredibly stubborn.
    You therefore maybe fighting a losing battle with such an approach, and you need to find a different way to move forward.
    Try instead positive, reward-based, motivational techniques.
    In a nutshell try "If you do X you'll get Y" not "If you don't do X you won't get Y", and so on.
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