Unpredictability in ASD

I wonder if unpredictable feelings and behaviour are typical of people with ASD?  I heard someone mention this the other day and it made sense.  They were describing the difficulty of trusting confidential information to their aspergers mother because they knew they couldn’t rely on them to keep the information confidential. 

Parents
  • Learning to withhold something someone told you in confidence and to be trusted with information isn’t always something we’re taught- depending on what class you grow up in. These are values which might be taught in a church, to value keeping a thing safe until the right time or to value not humiliating another. To value being trusted is a way to afford dignity. But one has to recognise how information is used by most. 

    The complication here is our natural tendency to see discrepancy rather than the surface performance. We already know others aren’t exactly Truthful. We might not understand why. We know there’s a difference between what someone says and what they mean but we might know what that is exactly. The thing we’re rarely taught is why being trusted with information matters and how to be loyal to another by protecting what we’ve been given. 

    Then next issue is we also know and value intimate relationships but this might create an inability to have that, so it is valuable we learn to care for and protect those we care about and what this looks like in a practical sense. 

Reply
  • Learning to withhold something someone told you in confidence and to be trusted with information isn’t always something we’re taught- depending on what class you grow up in. These are values which might be taught in a church, to value keeping a thing safe until the right time or to value not humiliating another. To value being trusted is a way to afford dignity. But one has to recognise how information is used by most. 

    The complication here is our natural tendency to see discrepancy rather than the surface performance. We already know others aren’t exactly Truthful. We might not understand why. We know there’s a difference between what someone says and what they mean but we might know what that is exactly. The thing we’re rarely taught is why being trusted with information matters and how to be loyal to another by protecting what we’ve been given. 

    Then next issue is we also know and value intimate relationships but this might create an inability to have that, so it is valuable we learn to care for and protect those we care about and what this looks like in a practical sense. 

Children
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