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Our 4 year old has just been diagnosed ASD

Cheeky_Herbert

Hi,

Our youngest son has always seemed ok to us,without any different behaviours that would lead us to down the road we are now on.

He has always spoken,smiled and understood instructions given to him.Our only concern was that his speech was a little delayed but nothing major.

Since going to preschool september 2012,we have been informed that he doesnt play with his peers as well as he should and is "passive",also he didnt say too much to anyone.They "insisted" on him being referred and by that I mean we were bullied into it by the preschool.

I have always been shy and we assumed this to be the case with our son,as at home he was very chatty,emotionally engaged and outgoing and certainly not passive.

He continues to be this way with us and yet has been given this diagnosis.While we have no problem with the diagnosis if true,it seems as if the process was forced so that he fitted the diagnosis without looking at him as a whole?

I realise that many parents would love to have to help we have had and I am certainly not meaning to be ungrateful,just very confused as to the two very different presentations of our son,one in preschool and one out of preschool.

  • Thank you for replying.It makes it easier to know that others are in a similar situation and that maybe our sons diagnosis is valid.He just didnt seem to fit in the classic autism spectrum but maybe thats about how little we know about it.

    Our son is also very different around family members (Adults) and his peers.Good to know that this is not uncommon.

    Good Luck to you and your family too.

  • Thanks Hope,yes he had a mda and its useful to know that around family you are similar to my son-no problems with family plenty of laughs but he seems standoff ish with friends(although he does play with them he just doesnt talk much to them).

    I am still trying to understand autism myself and most books I have read seem to portray an image of autism that doesnt fit with my son.Everyone is different I suppose.

    Good Luck to you.

  • When pre-school started telling me there was something different about my son I was very dismissive initially.  Like you, I considered him to be shy, perhaps unusually so but nothing more than that combined with a bit of a developmental/speech delay.

    Fast forward a few years and they were spot on.  I am so grateful now that they started us on that road as early as they did because it has made life now that little bit simpler now. 

    It is a very hard thing to accept, especially when you don't really see a problem.  From my experience, the process of diagnosis is so thorough that I would be surprised if it was just handed over to your child without them being certain first.  That's not to say it's impossible.  My son is like a different child at home and at school.  A different child with adults to children.  The list goes on.  It's not uncommon for that to be the case. 

    I wish you and your family the best for the future. 

  • Was  he diagnosed by experts in autism? I assume that they did a thorough assessment, and did all the standard tests.

    He sounds quite high-functioning, and it is possible to have Aspergers/HFA and to be very chatty at home and in familiar environments.

    I have Aspergers, but was pretty social around my family; smiling, giggling, chatting away. But I could not interact with peers, and came across as shy at school. I am not really shy, but I could  not understand the unwritten rules of social engagement. I still struggle with this.

    Even if he is very subtle, you will benefit from any support they give give him. And it might protect him from future problems. Aspergers/HFA can get worse with age if the right support is not given early enough.