Waiting List for talking therapies on the NHS

If anyone is interested, there are a few Aucademy talks on therapy.  Here's one:-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J72zvz9B-00

Plus one I personally found useful because it moves away from CBT and into person-centred therapy, which I would definitely favour, along with trauma-informed and autistic-friendly (i.e. individually adapted) therapy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShhpNjbsGW4&t=1s

I may well be biased but I've had training in both CBT and person-centred counselling and I naturally lean more towards person-centred.  Reading the work of Carl Rogers was a major revelation to me, as well as a considerable relief, leading me to wonder where this approach had been all my life.   Basically, and for those who aren't already familiar, his approach takes its lead from the person.  It is non directive (whereas CBT is very directive, if not prescriptive), non judgemental and accepting, and promotes genuineness within the therapeutic relationship.  

One of my favourite Carl quotes:-

"..it is the client who knows what hurts, what directions to go, what problems are crucial, what experiences have been deeply buried. It began to occur to me that unless I had a need to demonstrate my own cleverness and learning, I would do better to rely upon the client for the direction of movement in the process.”   

There are too many "therapists" out there adopting the role of expert, imposing their own views or strategies and making it a minefield for many. 

I'm not saying that CBT can't be helpful in some circumstances and with some people.  Some prefer the direction, the structure and the sense of consulting an expert.  It can be very appealing to people with a very logical bent of mind.  But the usual brief NHS CBT seems to me to be barely any better than a rather basic introductory text.  And their online courses reflect this.  There used to be one called "Beat the Blues" and, although I don't know whether this is still around, it simply took you through the basics but no more and with no tailoring to individual problems.  I can't see that being helpful to many and certainly I had a couple of clients who, even after their NHS appointments came through, came back to me complaining of the "silly" homework tasks and the assessment forms they had to complete each and every session, with little time for actual listening and reflecting.   

A good therapist will take more time, take care to build a trusting, therapeutic relationship and, if using CBT, use a thorough formulation of the person's issues - their history, what triggers them, how they fit into their beliefs and assumptions and how well any "hot thoughts" are working for them.  I.e. To me they are using CBT built upon a person-centred foundation, such that it becomes harder to tell it's even CBT.  

Sadly, it seems to be a "let the buyer beware" situation, which unfortunately even applies to NHS work because, even if you've not spent any money, you've been subjected to a long wait, raised expectations and then dashed hopes and disappointment.  So you've basically still been buying in to their model of therapy and, if it doesn't suit you, wasted valuable time which could have been used for something which actually helps. 

    

Reading of all your knowledge and experience of this Jenny I realise how little I know about it. I’m far too exhausted to do the research I probably should be doing in order to pick through all the different aspects of it. I think this is the problem - we go to the NHS when we’re already very vulnerable - expecting them just to give us what we need (if only!) but we soon lose all our illusions on that front! And then it’s: I’m not going to get what I need here - so what can I do? But we’re not always in a strong enough state of mind to grapple with that question. Even reading a fairly standard and accessible book is quite a challenge for me when my anxiety is at its worst. So working all this stuff out can feel almost insurmountable. 
most of all I’m just so TIRED, and I want someone - someone who actually knows what they’re doing! -  to just give me something that will help. Something that isn’t an SSRI anyway - because they made me feel so much worse. 

Reading of all your knowledge and experience of this Jenny I realise how little I know about it. I’m far too exhausted to do the research I probably should be doing in order to pick through all the different aspects of it. I think this is the problem - we go to the NHS when we’re already very vulnerable - expecting them just to give us what we need (if only!) but we soon lose all our illusions on that front! And then it’s: I’m not going to get what I need here - so what can I do? But we’re not always in a strong enough state of mind to grapple with that question. Even reading a fairly standard and accessible book is quite a challenge for me when my anxiety is at its worst. So working all this stuff out can feel almost insurmountable. 
most of all I’m just so TIRED, and I want someone - someone who actually knows what they’re doing! -  to just give me something that will help. Something that isn’t an SSRI anyway - because they made me feel so much worse. 

Thanks Jenny - I hadn’t thought about a local carers association (I don’t even know if we have one near us). I’ll look into that. 
I agree about the current government - they’re never going to improve the sort of services that we need. This Govt makes the Thatcher years look positively benign! 

It's a very sorry situation unfortunately.  And I think there'll be many who just give up and suffer in silence.  There are so many additional barriers because services have limited access and usually aren't autism-friendly either, so basically if people have to phone repeatedly or argue their case, they're just not going to feel up to that.  In fact all the chasing around is likely to make them feel worse. 

There may be advocacy services in your area, linked to mental health or autism organisations.  And I also found my local carers' association to be useful, with a shorter wait for counselling than the NHS.  It didn't address everything, of course, but I felt "held" and supported while I got my head together to make other decisions or even just to give me the strength to keep going.    

Of course, all of this is another factor in me accessing Sapphire to get help, although I appreciate that this isn't the answer for everyone and the costs can mount, depending on what's needed.  Their oils help me much more than SSRIs ever did, although that wasn't too hard to achieve given the SSRIs seemed to mess with my brain and actually impair me at times.  Our sons didn't have a very good experience with them either  - you're definitely not alone with this.   

I would still recommend putting that complaint in, if you feel up to it, but, like many, I do find forums like this more helpful than services.  They're more specific to our needs and more understanding of any limitations too.  I wish services could be more geared up but I'm not placing any hope in our current government.